Weekend Lover
by 22girlsin1
Summary: Alternate universe Walking Dead fan fiction. The Governor vs. Shane! Andrea has always loved her highschool sweetheart Shane Walsh. Their relationship ends. And she meets the much older and attractive Philip Blake. Andrea realizes she is not in love with Philip. Will Philip be okay just being her weekend lover?
1. Chapter 1

**_Weekend Lover_**

**Summary:**

Alternate universe Walking Dead fan fiction. Andrea has always loved her friend Shane Walsh. But these high school sweethearts decide to end their relationship.

Andrea then meets the much older and attractive Philip Blake. Their relationship gets more serious, and Andrea realizes she is not in love with him. Will Philip be okay just being her weekend lover? What will happen when Shane returns?

Note: All characters belong to Robert Kirkman. I own nothing. Just a HUGE fan.

**1\. Falling in love**

"You think we should be parking out here?" I asked Shane.

"What the worst that could happen?"

"There is a no trespassing sign," I tell him.

"Don't be such a good girl," Shane said pulling me into a soft kiss.

His tongue is pressed against my lips, and I felt warm all over my body. Shane is my first and my first boyfriend. I want him to be my first everything, I think to myself. I close my eyes and relaxed into his soft kisses. He was unhooking my bra when saw the blue lights behind us. The cops where here. Shit, I thought. If we end up in jail my parents would never let me go on another date again.

"What should we do?" I asked Shane anxiously.

"Wanna make a run for it?"

"You have to be kidding?"

"Would be an exciting story," Shane teased.

The police officer walks over, and Shane rolls down the window.

"License and registration please?" The officer said.

"Yes sir," Shane says handing him the papers.

"You teenagers been drinking or doing any other drugs?"

"No," We said.

He hands Shane his license back. "Well, you need to get home. I know a lot of kids park out here, but it's not safe. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Shane says.

"All right. If I see you two here again I'll give you a ticket. Now get home," The officer said as he left.

I looked over at Shane and he was staring at me. His puts his mouth against mine and I feel myself getting lost in his kisses again.

"We should go home like the officer said," I whispered.

"I know, but I want to tell you something first," Shane says.

"What?"

"I realized how much I love you," Shane said.

"Because we got pulled over by the cops?"

"Yeah. I just saw how scared you were and I realize I want to take care of you. For always," Shane said holding my hand.

"I love you too," I replied. Shane smiles at me with his dark brown eyes. He starts the car and pulls out onto the main road. _We both are grinning the whole way back to my house because we know how special what we have is. And he no idea how long I had waited to hear those words from his lips. _


	2. Chapter 2

**2\. Prom**

_I was wearing a low-cut red satin dress, my make up was flawless, and my hair was straight. I took another look in the mirror. My little sister Amy came walking into the room._

"You look beautiful," Amy said.

"Thank you," I said smiling at my five-year old sister.

"Just like a princess. I cannot wait to go to prom like you. And find my prince," She smiled. _She is at such a sweet age. Princess, mermaids, and castles all existed in her world._

"It will happen before you know it," I said applying some lipstick to my little sister's mouth. _She gave me quick kiss and ran out the room. I looked over my shoulder and saw Shane was there. My heart started beating fast as soon as he entered the room._

"You are breathtaking," Shane grinned.

"And you look handsome," I said kissing his cheek.

"We should get down there. Your parents are ready to fuss over you, and take lots of pictures," Shane said, taking my hand.

"I just can't wait to dance with you," I said looking into his brown eyes.

"Every single dance better be mine," Shane teased. _He could get so jealous, I thought._

"You can have almost every dance. I am going to dance with some of our friends. I mean this is the last night we will see some of them," I said.

"I know. It makes you sad. I am really going to miss Rick when I go away to college," Shane said as we walked downstairs.

"I am going to miss my sister, and everyone at home. But we have to move forward with our future. That's part of life," I told Shane. He said nothing, but nodded silently in agreement.

_When we got to the living room my mom kept telling me how beautiful I looked. She took a million pictures before we got to leave. My dad lectured Shane about making sure we did not get in any trouble. Finally we got in Shane's truck, and I felt nervous. We had been dating for a year and a half now. Shane just told he loved me a week ago. Now it was prom night. Was he expecting us to make love tonight? Was I ready? All the questions were going through my head as he pulled up to the school gymnasium. _

"_I love you, Andrea," Shane said taking my hand as we walked inside together._

Rick Grimes walked over with his date Lori as soon we go inside.

"You look lovely, Andrea," Rick said.

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Love that dress. I mean I could never pull it off, but it looks great on you," Lori said. _I could not tell whether it was a compliment or not._

"You dress is pretty, too," I said politely.

"I am having after prom party. No parents. You two should come," Lori said.

"You can count us in," Shane said smiling.

_I waited until Rick and Lori were gone, and looked over at Shane._

"I thought we'd go have dinner after prom," I said annoyed at the change of plans.

"We can grab a quick bite. At the party we will have a chance to be alone together. You what that don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do," I said looking Shane's dark brown eyes. _He wants me. Shane wants to make love to me. I can do that. I was ready. Wasn't I?_

"Good. Now let's go dance before we are named prom king and queen," Shane smirked.

"You are certain that we are going to win?"

"Yes, we are the sexiest couple here. How could we lose?"

"As long as I have you by my side I am a winner," I told Shane.

_Shane smiled at me again, and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel my body tremble at his touch. He led me to the dance floor. As we danced to the soft music I felt like this was a moment I never wanted to end. I would do anything to stay here in the arms of the boy I loved forever. _


	3. Chapter 3

**3\. Not ready**

_Shane and I were named prom king and queen. His body was pressing against mine while we were dancing._ _The soft music was playing and for that moment everything was perfect._

"I told you we would win," Shane smirked.

"You were right,"I smiled.

"I am ready to get some time alone with you," Shane whispered.

I nodded, but I knew I was not ready for what he was wanting. He placed his hand on my back and we left the gym together. High school is over, I thought. But Shane and I will always be together.

"So you would you like to go eat at _Spaghetti Warehouse_?"

"I thought you wanted to go somewhere fast,"I replied.

"There is no hurry. We have all night right? And I want make everything perfect for you,"Shane whispered.

"I love you," I said taking his hands. We got into his truck and I could not stop looking into his dark brown eyes. I wanted Shane so bad, but I remembered a promise I made to myself._ I had promised not to have sex until marriage as much as I love Shane I could not break that promise._

_Shane pulled up to the restaurant and got a quiet table for us in the corner. I ordered my favorite pasta dish and salad. Shane ordered a steak. Always a big meat-eater, I thought._

"I could do this forever,"Shane promised me.

"Eat at expensive restaurants?"

"No. I meant being with you. I am trying to say I could be with you forever. We just feel right together,"Shane smiled.

"I know,"I smiled.

The waitress brought out our food, and I eat slowly. Shane was finished before I was half way done.

"Are you going to get desert?"

"No. You can me my desert,"Shane smirked.

I said nothing, but took his hand. I took a few more bites of my food, and wiped my mouth.

"I am ready to go," I said putting my fork down.

"No problem. I'll pay for the meal, and we will head to the party," Shane smiled.

My stomach started to get butterflies. How was Shane going to react when I told I couldn't? I did not want to lose him.

"Let's go," Shane said taking my head. I was quiet the whole way until we got to the party.

"Hey, I glad you two made it,"Lori said opening the door.

"Thanks for inviting us," I smiled.

"Well there are plenty of snacks in the kitchen and beer. Also the guest room is empty if you two want to be alone," She said walking off.

"I'll get a beer and we go hang in the guest room," Shane said.

"Okay," I said. I stood there feeling out-of-place until he returned.

"I got you a soda," Shane said handing me a can drink.

"Thanks," I smiled.

_He took my hand and lead me to the guest room. In the middle of the room was a big bed. Shane put down his beer, and softly pushed me on the bed. He put his hand son my face, and pulled me lips were pressed against mine. I closed my eyes and felt his tongue moving against my lips. Everything about this felt right. His body thrusting against mine causing me to get wet down there. I thought for a moment I might could do this. That was until Shane took his pants off._

"We should probably take of these dress clothes,"He said.

"Yeah, you are right. Did you bring anything to change into?"

"Yes, but I was thinking we might be without our clothes for a bit,"Shane said.

"I know we haven't really discussed that," I said looking at the floor.

"You want me to be tested for stds? Because I have already been," Shane said serious.

"No. You have to know I am virgin," I whispered.

"I figured you might be,"Shane said gently.

"Well, I plan on waiting. Until marriage. You know I am Catholic, and go against my beliefs. It's not that I don't want to,"I said hoping to make him understand.

"I am Catholic too, but you can ask for forgiveness," Shane smiled.

"I am not ready. I hope you can understand,"I said taking his hand.

"Ofcourse I do. And I will wait for you to be ready. I love you," Shane said.

"I love you too," I said.

"So does the whole waiting for marriage mean you can't have oral sex either?"

"That's right,"I said smiling.

"God, I might just have to marry you,"Shane whispered kissing my lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**4\. Morning**

_I woke up in Shane's arms, and it felt like this most natural thing in the world. We had talked all night about getting married and having babies. I knew now Shane wanted to marry me. I wanted that too, but not yet. I wanted finish college and law school first._

"We don't have to wait to get married," Shane said as got up out of the big bed.

"You want to sleep with me that bad?" I teased.

"I already did sleep with you," Shane smiled.

"Did it live up to your expectations?"

"Not really," He smirked.

"Shit,"I said blushing.

"Well, I want to actually have sex with you Andrea. It's almost been two years, and I am not a virgin," Shane said.

"I know. And I love you," I said looking at the floor.

"I love you, and you love me. Why wait? We can get married now, tomorrow, or sometime next month. Just in the near future because I can't wait much longer," Shane pleaded as he rubbed his body closer to mine.

"You need to wait. We'll be starting college in the fall at Auburn. You are going to so busy playing football, and we both will be studying at the time. We need to get through at least our first two years of college before talk about marriage," I said softly.

_I pulled on the pair of blue jeans Lori loaned me, and slipped on a tee-shirt. Shane's eyes were glue to me as I put on the clothes. He wanted me. Here he was talking about marriage, but that was only because he didn't get laid, I thought._

"I am not going to Auburn," Shane said.

"But that was the plan. For us both to go there, and you got accepted with a scholarship," I said perplexed.

" Even with the scholarship it won't cover all the expenses. I really can not afford to go to college anywhere Andrea," Shane said.

"Where do you think we will get the money to get married then?"

"Well, honestly my mom has a rental house she said we could move into. I thought maybe Rick and Lori might want to move in with us. They could help with the bills, and buy groceries," He said.

"What are your plans for your career now?"

"I was thinking I would go to the police academy with Rick," Shane admitted.

"Look, you cannot build your life around Rick. I know your friendship is important, but this is our future," I said feeling hurt.

"You could go to college here in Florida. You don't have to move to Alabama for law school Andrea. Why not just take the basics here, and then when I get done at the academy you could transfer," Shane said grabbing my arm.

"I'll think about it. But I already have everything planned to go to Auburn. You promised to come too," I said moving away from him.

"Worst case Andrea you go away to college and I'll come visit you every weekend. Then I'll move there to be with after I finish up at the academy," Shane said taking me into his arms.

"You could go to the police academy in Alabama," I pleaded.

"I was accepted to the one here," Shane admitted.

"Why did you not tell me?"

"I don't know. Shit, Andrea you are so damn smart and beautiful. I guess I wanted to be that guy for you. The one who goes to college, writes papers, and all those things. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to be a PE coach. I do but don't think I can do that," He answered.

"So you want to settle? And I am supposed to give up plans to live with you and Rick? Come on Shane you are too depended on your friendship with him," I said walking out of Lori's house.

"Andrea, you don't have a car. There is no way you can get home. Let me drive you," Shane said grabbing my arm again.

"No," I said pushing him off me. I started walking away from him. I should have known this relationship would never last. _Who marries the first boy they kiss? _

I was moving as fast as I could when I saw Shane get in his truck, and he was following me. "Fuck off," I said as he rolled the window down.

"Andrea, why are you so upset. I told you that we can make this work," He said glazing at me with those brown eyes.

"You lied to me. That's what I am upset about. How can I even think about marrying you now," I said walking faster.

"I should have told you I was planning on staying here, but I thought," He started to say.

"You thought I drop everything to be with you?"

"Yeah. I hoped anyways, but we can make this relationship. Just get in the truck," He said

He pulled over to the side of the road, and I slowly go in.

"College starts in three months, and you decided to tell me this now," I frowned.

"I know I should have said something earlier," Shane said.

"Hell, yeah," I said looking into his dark brown eyes.

"Give me another chance?"

"No more lies?"

"I promise Andrea," Shane said.

"One last chance," I said softly taking his hand.

_Three months was all we have left together, and then we have to do a long distance relationship until Shane finished up at the academy. Then he moved to Alabama and we get married? That was the plan he was talking about. I just hoped we could beat the odds of a long distance relationships. _


	5. Chapter 5

**5\. End of summer**

_The days went by so fast, and then the summer was over. I was getting ready to leave for college when Shane stayed behind to finish up at the police academy. He only had five more months. Surely, we could make it apart in few months._

"I love you, Andrea," Shane said when he showed up at my to take me to the airport.

My parents and little sister looked over at me forlornly. I could not believe I would be leaving my home behind. Part of me wanted to stay here like Shane had suggested. It would be a lot easier than saying goodbye.

" Take care of yourself," My mom said giving me another hug.

"I will," I smiled slowly pulling away from his embrace.

"Study all the time," dad said as I wrapped my arms around him.

"You know Andrea won't be able to put her books down," Shane said.

"I'll make you all proud," I whispered in my dad's ear.

"I want you to stay sissy," Amy cried.

"I'm going to call you every night and I'll be coming home on the weekend," I promised my little sister.

"We better go. You are going to miss your flight," Shane whispered. _I took his hand and left the only place I had ever called home._

"Part of me really wants to stay," I said looking into Shane's chocolate-colored eyes.

"I want you to stay, but in five months I'll be with you. Like we planned," Shane said kissing my lips softly.

"Promise me that you will be with me soon," I said.

"I promise. Now you better get on that plane before I don't let you go," Shane said.

"I love you," I said kissing his soft skin.

"I love you too," Shane said waving goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6

**6\. The question **

"You are getting all dressed up for this guy," Michonne my roommate said.

"This isn't just some guy. When you meet Shane then you'll understand. He is so sexy and smart," I said giddily brushing my hair.

"I can't wait to meet him," Michonne replied.

Suddenly there was a knock on dorm room door. I opened it and there he was. Shane look incredibly sexy wearing tan cargo and a gray tee shirt. I wrapped my arms all the way around him.

"You won't supposed to be here until tonight," I whispered.

"I couldn't wait that long. I needed to see you," Shane said pressing his lips against mine. _His hands were running across my body and we were completely lost in the moment. _

"Get a room," Michonne murmured.

"This is my roommate Michonne," I said as Shane and I pulled away from each.

"It's pleasure to meet you," Shane said shaking her hand.

"You too. I heard you finished up at the police academy," Michonne said impressed.

"Yes Ma'am," Shane smiled.

"That's something to be proud of. I am going to go the library study for finals, and let you two be alone," Michonne said giving us a small smile. _I was pleased she approved of Shane, I thought._

"_Speaking of being alone I got a hotel room," Shane said softly in my ear._

"Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Walsh?" I said teasingly.

"Would it do any good?"

"Nope," I said shaking my head. _Shane's chocolate-brown eyes were filled with disappointment. And I knew he was tired of waiting for me._

"Stay all night with? Please at the hotel. I'll respect you Andrea," Shane said softly in my ears.

"Yes. I mean you have been staying in that hotel room alone on too many other visits you made here," I said grinning.

"I agree. I have been so fucking lonely for you," Shane said.

"That is about to be over once you find a job here. Then we can finally start our life together," I smiled packing overnight bag.

"I am so ready to be with you all the time," Shane said taking my hand.

"I know. In the past five months we have been a part I have realized how much I want you around too. I don't think I can wait to finish law school to get marry either," I told him as we got to his truck.

"I am so glad to hear you that," Shane said kissing my lips again.

_He pulled up to the Hilton hotel, and I knew something was going on. Was he trying to get me into bed again with a fancy hotel room, or was something else going on? When entered the room I knew he was planning something. The light was off , candles were glowing, soft music playing, and red roses everywhere. I walked around the room and saw the bed had rose petals. On the bed it read on WILL YOU MARRY ME?_

"Andrea, I love you more than anything. So I have a question to ask you. I know you have already saw it on the bed, but I am going to ask you again," Shane got down on one knee holding out a dark blue ring box.

_I looked into his dark chocolate eyes and I could see how much he really loved me._

"I love you Shane," I whispered before he could say anything else.

"Will you marry me darling?"

"Yes," I said as put on a silver engagement ring on my finger. _This was the smallest diamond I ever saw, but I did not care. Shane was going to mine. My husband. _

After he put the ring on my finger Shane pushed me onto the bed. His lips were kissing my neck and hands were moving lower on my body. The touch of his kisses caused my body to tremble, and for a moment I thought about giving into my desires.

"Can we be together now?" Shane implored me.

"I would feel better if we waited. I promise I'll be worth it," I said kissing his lips.

"You better be," Shane teased pressing his lips against mine.


	7. Chapter 7

**7\. More lies**

_"I fucked up bad," I admitted to Rick in one of our heart to heart talks in the police car_.

"What you do?"

"I cheated on Andrea," I said looking at the floor.

"Why? You love Andrea," Rick said disapproving.

"She wants to wait to have sex until marriage. We have been together for two years. I guess I let my physical needs take over," I said softly.

" That's tough man. But you slept with someone else? What about the wedding?"

"I want to marry Andrea still. And spend the rest of life with her. I am scared that Stephanie will tell her everything."

"Stephanie Carson? Shit, Shane you know she will tell," Rick said shaking his head.

"What should I do? You are better at this relationship shit than I am."

"You have to tell Andrea the truth when she gets home this weekend. That is the right thing to do whether Stephanie tells her or not," Rick said calmly.

"I don't know if I can do that. She'll hate me ," I said starting up the car.

"I really think Andrea will forgive you. She loves you," Rick reassured me.

"I hope you are right. Because if I lose Andrea, I would lose my whole world," I said driving off us back to the police station.

"She has been good for you, brother," Rick said before he got out of the car to go inside.

I had so many questions in my head? Would Andrea still marry me? Did I really need to tell her? I mean it was a one night stand with Stephanie. It did not mean anything. I drove back to Andrea's parents house, and there she was. Looking as beautiful as ever. I knew Rick was right I had to tell her. I parked the police car, and walked up to her.

"Shane you look so sexy in that police officer uniform," Andrea said kissing my lips.

"You look amazing. Why did you not tell me you were in town already?"

"I was shopping with my mom and sister," She whispered.

"What for?"

"A wedding dress. I haven't found the one yet, but I can't wait for this our June wedding," She said her blue eyes shinning. _How could I break her heart like this?_

"Me either. As soon as I get transferred we should get married," I smiled slowly.

"That would perfect. I just have to find a dress first," She said sweetly.

"Yes and we need get everything worked out with the church. I know who important that is too you," I said.

_I knew I needed to tell Andrea the truth, but at the moment I just could not bring myself to break her heart. She was so happy planning our wedding._


	8. Chapter 8

8\. Break up

I was at Shane's house crawled up on the sofa with him. His mom and sister were out of town visiting family so we were ending every minute of alone time we got. I was looking at a bridal magazine, and talking about dresses.

"You know who I saw the other day?"

"Who?" Shane asked.

"Stephanie Carson from high school. She wants to have lunch sometime next week," I said looking another picture of a wedding dress.

"Don't waste your time with that slut," Shane said harshly.

"You shouldn't be so rude," I breathed.

Shane looked over at with his dark chocolate eyes, and I knew something was wrong. Maybe he was not going to move? Or he decided not to marry me. I knew this troubled look in his eyes.

"I have something to tell you Andrea, and you aren't going to like it," Shane said taking my hand.

"What?"

"Remember those few days when we did not talk?"

"Yeah," I said feeling confused.

"Well, that was about two weeks ago," Shane said running his through his dark brown hair.

"I was studying and that was a stupid fight. Don't worry about it," I said looking into his eyes.

"I wish I did not have to worry about it, Andrea. But I fucked up bad this time."

"What? Nothing you could do would make me stop loving you," I reassured him.

"I am glad you said that. If I could take it all back I would," Shane promised.

"Take what back?"

"I was a party with some guys from work. Stephanie was there and we both hard a lot of drinks," Shane started to say.

"You kiss her? Don't worry about it. Everyone makes mistakes," I smiled.

"No…I mean yes I kissed her."

"That's it, right?"

"No, I did a terrible and stupid thing with Stephanie. She does not mean anything to me. I wanted it to be you, but you wanted to wait," Shane said moving closer to me.

"Just tell me you did have sex with her?"

"I can't," Shane said looking at the floor.

"How could you do this to us? We've been together almost three years now! You had four more months and you could not keep it in your pants," I yelled feeling pissed.

"Andrea, please calm down," Shane said touching my arms.

"Don't touch me, Shane. You don't get to touch me aren't good enough to touch me," I yelled tears coming down my eyes. _This was the first boy I had ever kissed. Shane was the man I thought I was going to marry. He was my first crush when he chased me around the church building when we four. None of that matter now. All I saw now were more lies. How could he wait two weeks to tell me? He told be only because he knew he was going to get caught._

"I love you. We can get pass this," Shane pleaded.

"I don't know if I can. Maybe if you told me two weeks again," I said.

"We will get through it together. I'll make you trust me again. You are going to marry and have my babies. Everything will be like before. Nothing has to change," Shane said grabbing my arm hard this time.

"I don't know. I need more time," I told Shane.

"You had time, darling," Shane said picking me up. He was carrying me the side of his back, and I was kicking him. Still he did not put me down. He carried me into his bedroom and tossed me on the mattress. _There was a wild crazy look in his brown eyes I had never seen before. He was on top of me now thrusting his body against mine._

"I can make you love me again," Shane said taking of my blue jeans.

"Stop," I begged. He was overpowering me with his body, and hard I pushed I could not get him off.

"No, I am not stopping anymore. Once we make love everything will be all right again. If you can just see what it will feel to be with me," Shane said removing my black panties.

For a moment, his lunacy made sense. I allowed him to place his head in between my legs, and I could feel him moving his tongue inside me. His hands where holding my legs so I could not move, but I did not want to go anywhere.

"Oh…"I moaned.

"I told you this will fix everything," Shane said smiling when he was finished.

I moved out of his arms, and put my panties back on.

"It won't. I can't do this Shane. You can not kiss everything and make it better," I said grabbing my blue jeans off the floor.

"You know I would not have raped you. I stopped myself from going that far," Shane said touching my blonde hair.

"I know you wouldn't, and I want to forgive you for what happened. But I can't. Not now at least. All I can think of is her being with you," I said putting my blue jeans on again.

"I love you. Isn't that enough?"

"It's not enough now. We can't be together. Not like this," I said handing him back the engagement ring.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Going to finish up school. I'll probably go ahead and leave tonight."

"You'll regret this Andrea. No one will love you the way I do. I am your first love," Shane said tears in his eyes now.

I walked outside, and got in my car before Shane could stop me. I cried all the way home. How could Shane do this to us? Why could he not wait for me? Did he not love me enough?

9\. The Blues

I was at back at the college dorm with my roommate Michonne seating in front of our small TV. I had a bag of chips in one hand, and a tub of ice cream in the other.

"You look rough," Michonne said.

"I had to cancel a whole wedding, and I lost the life I thought I was going to have," I said taking another bite of ice-cream.

"That's enough ice-cream. Why don't get you in the shower. I'll treat you to lunch," She offered taking away my tub of fudge brownie ice cream.

"Actually, I have a paper to write," I said turning off the TV.

"I'll bring you something back. You can not live off of ice-cream and potato chips."

"Thanks. You are a good friend," I attempted to smile.

"You know that Shane has called you non stop," Michonne said getting her car keys.

"I know," I said feeling even more heartbroken.

"Why don't you give Shane another chance ? I no sex is hard for anyone. Especially a nineteen year boy. I mean you two clearly belong together. If I am sure of anything that's it," Michonne said.

"I can't be with someone I don't trust, and tries to convince me sex will fix everything," I said aggravated. _Everyone seems to think I should forgive Shane, but I was the one he cheated on. I was the one who had to decide what I could and could not forgive._

"You still love Shane right? I understand you have religious beliefs but don't lose the love of your life because he didn't live up to your high standards," She said walking out the door.

**_I did not want to lose Shane, but I could not forgive him. I mean how did I know this was the first time he slept with someone else? I changed my life plans for him, and this was how he treated me. There was no going back now. I would finish college, and avoid relationships all together. I did not need a man to make me happy, I thought wiping the tears from my eyes. I can do this on my own._**


	9. Chapter 9

**PART II**

**Six years later**

**10\. Celebrating**

_I was finished graduating from law school in a week. All my tests were done, and my roommate Michonne insisted we go out for drinks with a group of friends. Somehow, I did not feel like celebrating. My mind and my hear were still focused on Shane. Six years later and I still regret canceling the wedding. Move on, I told myself._

"You look hot tonight,"Michonne said when I came out in a little black dress.

"Thank you. It's you dress. I don't normally wear things like this, but I thought my church dress would look out-of-place in at a bar," I said unsure if I should even go.

"Keep the dress. After seeing it how could it looks you I don't think I could wear it again," She smiled.

"Thank you," I said as we headed to the club.

_I sat at the table watching everyone dance and have a good time. I looked down at my cell phone. Maybe I could call Shane's house. If they still had a house phone maybe his mom would give me his cell. No, I am sure he has moved on by now. He might be even married, I thought sadly. Suddenly I saw a man across the bar staring at me. He was at least fifteen years older than me, but he was very sexy. I smiled at him little and Michonne walked over._

"That guy in the brown suit is checking you out," She smiled.

"I know. You don't think he'll come over here do you?"

"Who?" The stranger with the light brown eyes said as walked over to me.

"You," I said looking into his eyes.

"Well, here I am. I like to buy you a drink," He offered.

"I don't really drink a lot of alcohol. I kind of feel out-of-place at a bar to tell the truth," I said looking at Michonne.

"Go have a drink with him," Michonne encouraged me.

"One drink," I said looking up at him.

"That's better than nothing," He smirked.

"I am Andrea Harrison by the way," I said as he took my hand.

"Philip Blake," he smiled again.

"Philip do you like cheeseburgers?"

"I love them. Why?"

"What do you say we leave this place, and go get one?"

"Then I can take you home with me?" He whispered in my ear.

"**Maybe," **I said getting caught up with how attractive this older stranger was. I _could not stop staring at his light brown eyes, dark blonde hair, and angel face. I felt like I was put under a spell. I had never seen someone so sexy. Well, besides Shane. _

"_That's not a no," He said taking my hand._

**Author notes: Please review and let me know what you think about what I have written this far. I promise it is getting to the good part!**


	10. Chapter 10

**10\. Dinner**

"I have to tell my friend I am leaving," I said smiling at Philip.

"Okay. Hurry back," he said. I walked over to Michonne who was drinking a beer with the rest of college friends.

"I am going to head out," I said to Michonne.

"With the older guy you just meet?"

"Yeah, it's fine. You told me to have some fun," I said looking at her.

"I know, but I did not think you would leave with someone you just meet. It's not safe Andrea," Michonne warned.

"We only getting something to eat. I'll see you back at the apartment tonight," I said walking back to Philip.

"She does not approve," Philip said when I got back.

"No. I don't normally do things like this. I am sure it has thrown her off a bit," I said taking his hand again.

"Eat hamburgers?"

"No, leave with guys at bars. I very religious for the most part, and I rarely date. I stay at home studying all the time."

"A beautiful girl like you not dating. I can't imagine that," He said squeezing my hand. _His skin against mine felt so good. I knew already I wanted him. I was overcome with lust. The right thing would be to walk away. But I was tired of doing the right thing. I wanted to have some fun for once. I didn't want to be alone anymore. _

"I have my reasons. I'll tell you at dinner," I said as walked to his car.

"It's not much," He said showing me his older blue mustang.

"I like," I smiled getting in the car after he opened the door for me.

"You want to go to _Steak_ '_n Shake_ ?"

"Sounds perfect," I said taking his hand.

"You're perfect. I could not stop staring at you in the bar," He whispered in my ear. _I felt myself blushing at the sweet sound of his voice._

"Thank you," I said. He parked the car and we walked inside the restaurant together. I knew nothing about this handsome stranger, but for some reason I felt safer with him around.

"Table for two?" The hostess asked smiling at Philip. He was so gorgeous every girl smiled at him, I thought. I remember feeling the same way when I was out with Shane. Girls would always stare and giggle as he walked by and I would get so jealous.

"Yes," Philip said his voice sounding deep and sexy. _I wonder if he knew the effect he had on women. She lead us to a table and gave us menus._

_I sat across from Philip and glaze into his brown eyes._

"I love the strawberry milk shakes here," I said.

"Order anything you want. My treat," He grinned.

"That is very kind of you," I replied.

"I have not had dinner with a beautiful woman in a long time," He said with a ominous tone.

_I smiled again finding myself speechless. The last time I smiled this much was with Shane, I thought. I had not felt this way in six long years. _

"So why don't you date?"

"Well, I was engaged at nineteen. My fiancée cheated on me, and I had no desire to go through that heartbreak again. I loved him so much and I figured I never get that feeling from anyone else," I said looking at the menu.

"Never say never," He whispered.

"Never," I said shaking my head.

"You head to order?" The waitress asked when she came over interrupting our small talk.

"Cheeseburger, fries, and a coke," Philip said handing the her menu.

"I'll a cheeseburger and a strawberry milkshake," I told her.

"I'll have it right out," She said leaving us alone.

"So if you don't drink alcohol why were you at the bar?"

"Was there with college friends. Celebrating graduation," I said.

"That's great. What is your major?"

"I am finishing law school," I said.

"Wow, smart and gorgeous," He said impressed.

"And completely lost," I said looking into his brown eyes.

The waitress brought our food over, and I took a long drink from my milkshake. And I looked over at Philip eating his French fries. I noticed he carefully placed each one in his mouth.

"So do you want to come home with me?" Philip asked again.

"You're not a serial killer are you?"

"Let me think about that….no," he said with a wicked laugh.

_I had made a promise to wait till marriage for sex, and I wanted to keep that promise. Still, I wondered what sex was felt like. Maybe I should just get out-of-the-way? As charming as Philip was I did not think he was someone I ever have a real relationship with. So losing it with him would mean nothing. I would not have wrong about getting my heartbroken again. I could just enjoy the physical pleasures of being with a handsome man with no strings attached. What would be wrong with that? And I would not have tell anyone. It could be my secret._

"To be honest I want to go home with you. It's just that I am Catholic. And I don't really believe in sex before marriage," I said putting more ketchup on my cheeseburger.

"So are you a virgin?" He asked almost choking on his French fry.

"Yes," I whispered.

"What is the most you have done with a guy?"

"My ex gave me oral sex, and that is as far I have gone," I said in a quiet voice.

"Wow, I am shocked."

"If you don't want to take me home now I understand," I said looking into his light brown eyes.

"No, it's the opposite. I am very turned on by the fact you are virgin," he said in a sexy voice.

"So it's settled. I am going home with you," I said feeling a little uneasy. _I was going to give my virginity to a stranger?_

"I am so glad I decided to go out tonight," He said taking my hand.

_If someone who have asked me who I would lose my virginity to when I was a teenager I would have said Shane Walsh with no hesitations. I had no doubts that my future was with him. Never had I expected to be coming home with some random guy from a bar. But life is unpredictable, I thought. _


	11. Chapter 11

**11\. New Addiction**

_Philip pulled up to red brick house in a newer neighborhood. It's no mansion, but I am sure he paid a lot of money for it. I took a deep breathe as he got out of the car. I watched him as he got out the house key and unlocked the door. He opened it for me and I walked inside looking around the house._

"Would you like a drink?"

"Do you have any wine?"

"Of course," He said smiling at with those golden eyes.

_He brought me back a glass of white wine, and slowly took a drink. I thought drinking my calm my nerves. You shouldn't be here Andrea. Good girls don't have sex with strangers, I thought. You are acting like a slut. You know better._

"This wine tastes sweet," I said quietly.

"I bet you do too," Philip said whispering in my ear. _His skin touching my skin caused me to tremble. I was going finally have sex, I thought._

"We should go to the bedroom," I said taking another drink of wine.

"Already?"

"Yeah I want to do this with you. This is going to happen. We are going to have sex. I am going to fuck the hot guy from the bar," I said taking his hand.

"We don't have to rush. And you don't need to be so nervous, Andrea. I promise I will be gentle with you. Nothing is going to happen that you don't want," Philip said rubbing my shoulder. _He put his hands on my face and softly touched his lips on mine. I did want him. I wanted him enough to give up my beliefs. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have someone inside me. _

"I want you," I said when he pull his lips away from mine.

"Let's go to the bedroom," He said taking my hand again. _I followed his lead and took a deep breathe. I was going to find out what the hype was about. I would soon know what sex felt likw, I thought. I looked up and saw the big bed in the middle of the room. Could I actually do this? I mean I had dreamed about my wedding night forever. I would be in a beautiful white dress, and there would be roses petals on the bed. My virginity would be a gift I gave my husband. Now I was going to give it to stranger from a bar because I was tired of waiting? Don't over think it, I thought myself._

"Get on the bed," Philip commanded. Looking into his brown eyes I knew there would be going back now. _This was going to happen. I got on the bed and laid down with no words. I turned over and Philip unzipped the tiny black dress I had on. _

"You body is flawless. I am going to take such good care of you," He said unhooking my bra. He carefully removed my black lace panties, and I was there naked in front of someone I barely knew. _Part of me wanted to run screaming. This should be Shane in bed with me, I thought. But you let Shane go. That was you._

"Please be careful with me," I begged him.

"I will Andrea. I'm never going to let you head hit the bed without my hand behind it. I will ease myself into you. It's going to be perfect, baby."

_Philip started sucking on each one of my nipples. I watch as he closed his eyes, and licked my breasts all over. His moved his hands on to my butt and he continued kissing my body going lower. Finally he was there with his head in between my legs. I had done this before with Shane, I thought. Philip moved faster with his tongue then Shane did. His fast movements mad me orgasm quickly._

"You like that?" Philip asked grinning. I could see his erection, and I knew he was ready for me. _He wanted me inside him._

"Yes," I smiled.

"Come here," Philip whispered moving his dick in my face. _He undressed himself quickly, I thought. He laid on his back and moved me on top of him. I opened my mouth up wide and placed his dick inside of it. Philip moved my head up and down by pulling my hair._

"You're a natural at this," Philip whispered.

"Thank you. I am ready now if you are," I said after I finished sucking his dick.

"Let me get a condom," Philip replied reaching into his nightstand. I watched as slide the condom on his hard penis. _He looked so huge. That was going to be inside me, I thought. How would ever fit? _

_He was on top of me again now kissing me. He slowly placed it inside me and started moving. He thrust himself inside me over and over. It a little hurt and I felt like I was going to cry. This was not how I pictured my first time I thought. To his credit he was moving as gently and slowly as possible._

"Are you all right?"

"Yes," I breathe. He starts moving deeper and deeper inside me. I feel myself getting breathless and covered in sweat. _The pain has gone away and for the moment I am enjoying having him inside me. _

"_I am almost there," He whispers kissing my forehead. He thrusts himself inside me one last time. He then takes off the condemn and throws it in the trash. I look at his perfect body, and I think I can do this again. I mean the worst part has to be over now I think looking at his blood stained sheets._

"That was amazing," Philip said getting back into bed with me.

"I don't have anything to compare it too, but I enjoyed a lot. Probably too much, " I said as he put his arms around me.

"You can't enjoy something too much. That is impossible. I can't believe I am your first," He said sounding very pleased.

"You are," I said soft laying my head on his chest. _I softly close my eyes, and think I can't wait to do this again in the morning. One time and I am already addicted to sex. No wonder Shane had trouble waiting, I thought. Suddenly forgiving Shane did not seem so impossible, but I knew it was too late for that._


	12. Chapter 12

**12\. Someone like Andrea **

_Six years and I could not get her blonde curls and blue eyes out of my head. Where was Andrea now? What was she doing? Who was she with now? Did she still think about me like I did her? I had dated several girls since our break up. Most of them blondes with blue eyes. Each girl was more beautiful than the next. Still none compared to Andrea. She was one of a kind. I had to get her back. It was not like before. I was not eighteen anymore. I was twenty-four and I was ready to settle down. I wanted a family. One with Andrea. Now all I had do was find Andrea._

"What is on your mind?" Rick asked noticing me looking out the window of the cop car.

"Andrea," I murmured.

"She has been for six years now, huh?"

"Yeah. I fucked that up bad. I do anything to get another chance with her," I admitted.

"Have you tried calling her again?"

"She changed her number, and I am too scared to ask her parents for her new one," I said taking a deep breath.

"You know she still keeps in touch with Lori," Rick said dimly.

"What? How can you just now be telling me this?"

"Well, I am friends with Andrea too. I was a little pissed when you hurt her like that. But I think you ready now," Rick said.

"Ready for what?"

"To settle down. You've learned your lesson right?"

"Hell, yeah. Sex is not everything in a relationship. You know I would do anything to get Andrea back. Talk to Lori for me and get me her cell phone number," I begged him.

"Look it might a little weird if you call her out of the blue. She is coming down next weekend for Lori's baby shower. Why not talk to her then?"

"A week feels like forever. I have lost enough time," I said.

"I promise you this way will be better, and don't come on to strong when you see Andrea. She may have already move on," Rick warned.

_I nodded. A beautiful girl like Andrea probably would have a boyfriend. But whoever he was would not stand a chance against me. I could down any asshole. Besides Andrea and I had a history. She still loved me and I would get her back. _


	13. Chapter 13

**13\. Breakfast**

_I woke up in the bed and he was gone. Where had he gone? He's probably in the bathroom, I thought. I look over and see he has tray with food on it. He has brought me breakfast in bed. That's sweet, I thought._

"I hope you like French toast," he said handing me the tray.

"It's one of my favorites," I smiled picking up the fork.

"You I was thinking we could send the day together. Maybe go see a movie, and I could take you out for dinner," He said sweetly.

_Wow, he really likes me. He wants more than sex, I think to myself._

"That sounds great, but I have to get home. I have mass today," I said.

"You could skip it, right? I mean everyone misses church."

"I don't miss church. Unless I am sick," I said harshly.

"I understand. I could go with you to church if it's that important," He whispers.

"That's sweet of you, but a lot of my friends will there. It will be awkward to introduce you when I don't know what type of relationship we have," I said looking into his brown eyes.

"You want a relationship with me?"

_I want to keep having sex with you, I think to myself._

"Maybe. I mean I would like to spend some more time together, and see where this goes," I whispered.

"I can live with that, but after church you have to let me take you to dinner."

"I promise," I smiled.

"I should make you buy me new sheets," Philip teases me looking at the blood stains again.

"I can do that. But I think we need to go again in these sheets first," I said putting the tray on the floor. _I was hungry, but not for food._

"_You're a dirty girl now, aren't you?"_

"Yes," I said taking off his white Calvin Klein briefs.

"My dirty girl," He says putting his lips against mine. He throws me on the bed, and I am ready to go again. _Would ever get enough of him? Would my desire for sex ever decrease? What kind of power would this man hold over me now?_


	14. Chapter 14

**14\. Phone call**

"So you didn't go to Lori's baby shower?" Michonne asked.

"No, I waned to. But if I saw Shane there I think die," I said sadly.

"And if I didn't see Shane there?"

"I would have been upset if he wasn't there too. I avoid Florida if I can. It's too hard even after all this time to go back. I have to stop myself from running to Shane's front door. I mean he was best friend before we started dating, and I miss him so much. Part of me thinks somehow we'll end up together."

"You two can. Go back home and find him. I bet he still there working with Rick at the police station," Michonne encouraged me.

"Even if he I am sure he has moved on. Besides I am dating Philip now," I said softly.

"I don't know about Philip, Andrea. Something about him seems off," Michonne said.

" I hope the rest of our friends are nicer about him then you are," I snapped.

"I think everyone is going to agree with me. It's not that I hate Philip, but I don't think he is good for you. I mean I know how important your faith is to you. Is this guy even Catholic?"

"No, but I mean I not going to marry the guy. I am just having fun. Philip knows that," I said calmly.

"I don't think he does Andrea. The way he looks you. He thinks he owns you. Besides didn't you say his child and wife died in car accident?"

"Yeah, so?"

"This guy is already dealing with a lot. Don't mess with his head Andrea. End it while you still can," Michonne warned.

"Look if you had a sexy man offering up what he is to me then you would understand. I mean it's intoxicating when we are together, and he is really sweet too. You just don't know him," I said defending Philip.

"Be careful Andrea."

"I hope everyone at the party will be nicer to him then you are," I said looking Michonne.

"Your cell phone ringing," She said changing the subject. _I looked down and saw it was unknown number. I decided to answer it._

"Hello," I said.

"Hey, this is Shane."

"Shane? Hey, I have been thinking about you." I said finding myself blushing at the sound of his voice. How did he still have this effect on me? _Talking to him made me feel like the twelve year old girl who was still waiting to her first kiss._

"I have been thinking about you too. Look, I have job interview in Alabama next month. Would you like to get together? Maybe have dinner?"

"Yes," I said without thinking.

"So are you single by any chance?"

"I am seeing someone actually," I admitted.

"Oh well," He started to say.

"But it's nothing serious."

"Good because I still care about you," Shane whispered over the phone.

"I still care too. Anytime you want to call or text me go ahead," I said softly.

"I will."

"Andrea, Philip is here," Michonne yelled.

"I have to Shane. I am sorry. But I'll talk to you soon," I said.

"Bye Andrea."

"Bye," I said closing the cell phone and walking over to Philip.

"You ready for me to meet at your friends?"

"Yeah, but are ready to meet them?"

"I think I can I handle it," Philip smiled.

_Taking his hand I did feel a little guilty about being on the phone with Shane, but I was not married to Philip. What was wrong with talking to Shane? I could see both guys until I made up mind which one was for me. People do that all the time. I mean just look at the TV show the Bachelorette. _


	15. Chapter 15

**15\. Party **

"I am ready to see what everyone thinks about you," I smiled at Philip.

"Michonne does not like me," Philip said.

"_She'll warm up eventually. And these are my friends form church they will love you," I said as we went inside the party._

"I hope so," He smiled.

"_Welcome," Carol_ Peletier said when got inside the house.

"Carol, this Philip Blake," I said introducing them.

"So Philip, Andrea tells me you're a manger at Wal-Mart. I bet you stay busy all the time," Carol smiled.

"That's an understatement," Philip grinned.

"There are drinks outside if you liked get one," Carol offered.

"Go ahead and I'll meet you outside," I said looking into Philip's brown eyes. _He nodded and walked out the back door._

"So what do you think?"

"He is very attractive," Carol admitted.

"I told you, and anything else?"

"Well, he looks a lot order than you. Is he Catholic?"

"No, but no one is talking about anything long term," I said.

"If he is not someone you would marry ,than maybe you shouldn't be dating him," Carol said in a motherly tone.

"So you don't like him, I got it," I said frustrated.

"I just meet him and I can not make any judgments," She said as I walked outside to find Philip.

"I got you a sweet tea," Philip said handing me a paper cup as I walked over.

"You meet Daryl and Beth?"

"Yeah. They seem nice enough," Philip said half smiling.

_I could tell he felt out of place._

"We can go back to your house after we eat," I whispered in his ear.

"I hope I can wait until then,"He said pressing his lips on mine.

I could see my friends Dale and Carol staring at us. They were not big fans of personal display of affection.

"We shouldn't kiss in front of everybody like this," I said pulling away.

"You're not embarrassed of me are you?" Philip said in a hurt voice.

"No, it's just these are my church friends. We need to act a certain way in front of them," I said quietly.

"So you act one way with them, and another when we're alone?"

"Let's not do this now. We'll talk when we leave," I said taking Philip's hand.

_He said nothing, but nodded silently. We sat down together at one of the tables. Philip made small talk with my friends, but I knew something was wrong. Finally, we were driving back to his house. We got inside, and I kissed his lips._

"You want to go to bed?"

"So it's acceptable to kiss me now? When we are alone, and you want sex."

"I thought we both wanted sex," I said defensively.

"I do want to have sex with you, but I need to know it's more than that," Philip said looking into my eyes.

"How much more are you wanting?"

"I only want you to honest with me. I heard what you said to Carol about us not being together long term," Philip said.

"We have only been dating six weeks let's not get ahead of ourselves," I said attempting to calm Philip down.

"I think you know by now how you feel about me, and I don't think time will change that. Am I someone you could see yourself marrying or not?"

"I am not ready to talk about marriage," I shouted.

"You don't want to have the marriage conservation with me, right? If you only want me as fuck buddy then say so," Philip said grabbing my arm.

"Look, if you want an honest answer you aren't someone I see myself marrying at the moment. Feelings could change, but if you need answer now than no I don't see it happening," I said moving away from him.

"You aren't being truthful with your feelings, Andrea. I know you love me," Philip said as my cell phone started to ring_. I was walking over to answer it, but he already had it in his hands opening it._

"Give me my phone," I said.

"Who is Rick?" Philip asked looking at the contact name.

"A friend from high school," I said rolling my eyes.

"Are you fucking him too?"

"I don't know, ask Rick's wife if I am," I said taking my cell phone back.

"Maybe, I am overreacting," Philip whispered.

"You think? The way you are acting fucking crazy now. You're being obsessive," I said moving further away from him.

"Let's go to bed like you wanted," Philip said softly rubbing my back. He knew I had enough and wanted to pretend like it had never happened. _His hands felt so good against my back and soft brown eyes looked sorry. I could almost forgive his outburst. Almost._

"I am not in the mood. I think you should take me home instead," I said getting my stuff together.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

_We were never a couple, I thought to myself._

"I don't know. I need to go home and think," I said walking out the door.

Philip got his car keys, and unlocked the door. I got inside, and waited for him. Philip got behind the wheel, and started the car.

"You sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, I'll call you later," I said when he pulled up to my apartment. I watched as his blue mustang pull away. _Suddenly, I felt lonely. I knew I should let him go. We weren't good for each, I thought. My cell phone was ringing, and it was Philip._

"Please come home with me for the weekend. We can be two adults just having fun," Philip said softly.

"I can do that," I said. I saw Philip turning his car around and pulled back up too_. I got back in the car, and took his hand. Philip was like a drug to me, I thought. I needed to end this relationship, but I did not want too. I wanted to have fun like he suggested. Hopefully, that will be enough for him._


	16. Chapter 46

**16\. THE ONE**

Things with Philip were becoming more and more intense. Not to mention I had been talking to Shane on the phone when I got the chance. Hearing Shane's voice reminded me how much I loved him back in high school, and how I did not feel this way about Philip. Yes, Philip was sexy as hell. Great in bed. I like being around him, but it was never going to be anything more. Never.

"So are you ready to go to dinner?"

"Yes," I said looking into Philip's eyes.

"I am glad you decided to give me another chance," He whispers. _I smile taking his hand. I had to tell him that I did not love him, and that there was no future for us. I needed to make sure he understood how things were._

"I like having fun with you. You're an amazing lover," I smiled_. Together we walked to his car._

"Your are not so bad either," Philip whispers as we get in the car_. We pull up to Longhorn Steak, and walked inside together. There in line to set a table I saw Rick Grimes. What was he doing here?_

"You ahead and get a table. I see someone I want to talk to real fast," I told Philip.

He nodded, and watched me walk over to Rick.

"Is that you?"

"Andrea," Rick said wrapping his arms around me. _Hugging Rick remind me of happier times. All the double dates Shane and I had with him and Lori. All the times with Shane period._

"What are you doing here?"

"I am here with Shane. He is looking for a house or apartment. He already got the job," Rick said as walked with him to the bar.

"Why did he not tell me?"

"I think he wanted to surprise you," Rick smiled with his blue-green eyes. And I looked over at the bar. _There Shane was. He was actually here walking toward me. I felt like this was a dream. My first love was here. _

"Andrea, I was about to call you," Shane's dark brown eyes glowed. _His arms were around me and I knew it. I still loved him. It was as if no time had gone by. All was forgiven._

"Well, I am very surprised to see you Andrea. This must be fate. Let me buy you a beer," Shane offered. _His arms were not around me anymore, but his hand was linked with mine. Being together felt so natural. I love him, and I never stopped._

"I am here with someone. I am sorry Shane," I said looking over at Philip.

"It's fine. That guy you are dating right?"

"Yeah. I've been rude being gone this long. I better get to my date," I said regretfully walking away.

"We'll go out soon. I am moving here for you," Shane promised.

"I'll call you," I whispered. Shane smiled at me and I walk to the table were Philip is seating.

"Who are those guys?"

"I went to school with them. Shane is my ex fiancée," I admitted.

"The same one who cheated on you?"

"Yeah, but that was along time ago. We were kids. We had no business getting married," I said taking a drink of my sweet tea.

"Once a cheater, always a cheater. People can't change," Philip said harshly.

He was displeased with me, and I knew the arrangement we had would never be enough for him. He was always going to want something I could not give. My heart was with Shane. Always had been, and always would be. I had to be honest with Philip, and myself. I had to end this with Philip for real. I had not stopped loving Shane. I couldn't love anyone else if I tried. Shane Walsh was it for me. The only guy I ever needed or wanted.


	17. Chapter 16

**17\. Lust **

_I was back in his arm. Lost in his kisses. Philip did owe me in so many ways. He was my first lover, and part of me would never want to let him go. But our physical connection was not enough. I had to end it. There I was naked in his bed again. His eyes were closed and he looked like an angel. I had to do this now._

"I should go home," I said getting up from the bed.

"Why? You want to see Shane?"

"Please don't.." I said unable to look at him.

"He not right for you. I am. I mean you were able to make love to me and not him. Doesn't that tell you something?," Philip whispered pulling me back to bed.

"We never made love Philip. We were only were never any feelings there. At least not on from me," I said coldly.

"You love me, Andrea. You won't admit because you think there is a certain way you have to live. But that's bullshit. When you are with me that is when feel alive. Don't get back together with some ex boyfriend who cheated on you because he is Catholic and I am not."

"My religion is very important to me. I couldn't marry someone who wasn't Catholic," I said.

"If you want someone who is Catholic, then I will join the church. I'll do anything for you. Name it," He said.

"Let me go. Put an end to this."

"I can't do that Andrea. I love you. And deep down I know you love me too. I am exactly what you need, but you are too blind to see. This Shane guy will fuck up again, and you know it," Philip said.

" I don't know unless I try. And if I don't try then I will always wonder. Please don't make this any harder," I said getting up from the bed. I put on my bra, underwear, tee-shirt, and jeans. _Philip's brown eyes where burning into mine. He wasn't going to let this go. He wouldn't let me go with out a fight. But I had to make myself completely clear._

"_I won't let you go without a fight," Philip promised grabbing my arm. He then put his hands on my face and kissed me forcefully. This kiss took my breath away, and I knew in that moment he was going to try to keep pulling me in. _

"I can't do this," I said pulling away from his kiss. _I could feel him following me out to my car. He wanted me, and he was not letting this be the end. Would I ever break away from his spell? Would he ever understand that it was only ever about sex for me? That I never loved him the way he needed to be loved._

"You can be with me. And you will. That night at the bar I knew it. You are meant to be mine," Philip says pulling into his arms again.

_I am pushing him off me, but he is holding on to me tight. His lips touch mine intensely and return his kiss. I find myself returning to the house with him, and he know I am right where he wants me. Would I ever be able to break free? Or would my lust for Philip continue to control me?_


	18. Chapter 17

**18\. First time**

_I was finally leaving Philip's house. I had taken a fresh shower to get rid of the smell of sex. How did I let this happen again? Another failed break up with Philip. Looking into his sad eyes I never could break his heart, but in the end I would hurt him more by leading him on. I got in my Mercedes and drove off as fast as I could. _

_I would find away to end it. I had too. Touching Shane's hand made everything clear. I still love him. Suddenly I realized I was driving too fast. Blue lights where flashing behind me. Shit the last thing I needed was a speeding ticket, I thought._

Then I saw it was Shane. He had pulled me over.

"Andrea, you are under arrested," Shane teased with his brown eyes. God, was there anyone sexier than Shane. Not even Philip could compare to his rugged good looks.

"What for officer?"

"Stealing my heart," Shane said his brown eyes glowing.

"That's cheesy officer Walsh," I said kissing his lips. My hands reached to the bottom part of his pants.

"Come on baby," Shane said pulling me into the cop can. His kisses covered my body, and fingers ran through my hair. This was the moment we both had wanted so long. I was not scared anymore. Any guilt or shame sex cause me was gone. Thanks to Philip, I thought.

Shane took of his pants, and I threw my off fast. In a hurry, he ripped off my red panties. Slowly he placed himself inside of me rocking back and forth. He started kissing my lips, and I knew this was what making love felt like.

"I missed you," Shane whispered pulling away from my lips.

"Not as much as I missed you."

"I still love you," Shane said thrusting himself deeper inside me. _I said nothing but dig my finger nails into his back. He finished up inside me, and softly kissed my forehead._

"_I am sorry I did not wait for you. I had sex with another man," I said feeling guilty._

"Andrea, I don't care about that. I did not love because you were a virgin. I love you for you. As long as I can only be your last," Shane whispered.

"You will be," I smiled.

"So it's over with the creepy older guy?"

"Philip is not creepy, he is attentive," I said defensively.

"You did not see the looks he gave Rick and I at the restaurant. He looked like he was going to murder us," Shane said.

"He does get crazy jealous," I admitted.

"Promise me, you will end it with Philip. Unless I am too late and you're in love with him," Shane whispered.

"No, you're not too late. I could never love anyone else. Philip never stood a chance. Because you owe my heart from the first time I saw you," I smiled.

"We were only four,"Shane smiled.

"I knew then," I kissed his lips again.

"I have to go back to work, but can I call you afterwards. Maybe come over?"

"Yes, you should stay all night if at my apartment," I reply.

"That sounds perfect," Shane grins.

"I love you. See you tonight," I smile walking to my car. This was how life should be, I thought. I would have to make it clear to Philip it was over, and then I could start my future with Shane.

**Notes: About start part three which will be from Philip's POV. What do you think so far?**


	19. Chapter 18

**19\. Your love**

_This hunger wants sweetness  
this ache an ache for love  
you're everything that I want  
and maybe that's  
what I'm afraid of- Laura Doyle_

The wind was blowing my blonde hair, but that did not bother me.

It was beautiful March day. I watched Shane get back into his cop car. We would be together again tonight, and tomorrow I would face Philip. I would take off day from work. _I make it clear to him that I was going to be with Shane. I would not lose anymore time with Shane. We were going to get married and have babies_. Even though he was driving away I could still feel his arms around me. Being with him was amazing. After waiting so long I knew it could not have been more perfect. No ,it was not in a hotel room with flowers and candles. But I did not need that. All I need was Shane. And his love. I finally drove off still thinking about our first time. His hands covering, the sweat, and the pure desire we had for each other. Nothing could ever compare to this.

**20\. Damn Andrea **

_I followed Andrea home. I knew better to trust anyone. I have been cheated on before. What I saw should have been no surprised, but it still shocked the hell out of me. Andrea was pulled over by a cop. It was not any cop though. It was her stalker ex boyfriend. He pulled her over for no reason other than to see her._

I watched as Shane put her hands on him. His hands were running through her blonde curls. She was smiling up at him. And they got into the back off the police car together_. I knew she was fucking him. My Andrea was letting another man touch her. What the hell was she thinking? How could she do this to us? Stupid bitch would have hell to pay. So would her pussy ass boyfriend. _No one would take what was mine. I watched as Andrea drove off. I thought about following her. Instead I followed Shane. I followed him the whole afternoon until he was back at his apartment. My first thought was to get out of my car, and beat the shit out of him. But I did not want him knowing I knew where he lived. So for now I drove off, and started making plans for my revenge. If Andrea knew what was good for her she would be breaking up with that loser. She didn't want to fuck with me, I thought.

I dialed her number on the phone, and she finally answered it.

"Hey, Philip," She said sweetly.

Stupid bitch, I thought.

"What are you doing? I got off work early," I said.

"I actually have a lot of work to do, and I'll have to cancel our plans for tonight," She said softly.

"Liar," I whispered.

"Why you say that?"

"Because I know it's time for your period. You probably want to rest," I said keeping my emotions in control.

"Yeah that's it," She lied. I knew Shane was coming over and we both knew it.

"We could stay in. I'll bring those red velvet cupcakes you like," I offered.

"No. We can talk tomorrow," She said dryly.

"Andrea, let me take care of you."

"You can stop by for a few minutes," She said giving in. _Andrea never could tell me no. Hopefully her new boyfriend would show in time to see as other. I drove my car as fast I could to get the cupcakes and get to her apartment. I wanted to beat Shane there._

**21\. Unplanned**

_Philip talking about periods made realize mine was late, and I decided to run to the store. I got a pregnancy test and prayed it would be negative. I was peeing on the stick when there was a knock on the door. I left it in the bathroom and got the door. There he was. Philip looking sexy as ever. How could he be so fucking sexy?_

"Cupcakes?"

"Put on the kitchen table," I said smiling. I loved Shane, but something about Philip made hunger after him. It was lust and it could not be trusted. I could not trust myself loving him. He would find someone, but it could not be me. I wanted the pure and simple love I shared with Shane.

"Sure. I am going to run to the restroom," Philip said moving quickly after he sat the cupcakes down. Did he know? How could he know? I tried to stop him,but I was too late. He saw the pregnancy test. It was in his hand.

"I can explain," I said moving closer to him.

"It's positive, Andrea," Philip smiled. _How was he happy about this? We have never planned on having kids, and always used condoms._

"Shit. What are we going to do?"

"You wouldn't have an abortion would you? I mean your Catholic does that not go against everything you believe in?"

"I think I threw my beliefs out the window that night I went home with you at the bar," I said coldly.

"But you can't," He said. I knew he was right, but I was still considering it. _This baby was not the one I planned on having. That baby was supposed to be Shane's. We had just found each other again. This pregnancy would destroy us all over again. _

"It's my body, and I will make the final decision," I said moving away from him_. I was so lost at this moment. Why couldn't it be Shane's baby? Was this the price I had to pay for not waiting? I should never used Philip for sex and play with his emotions I knew better than that. Now I bed made my bed and have to lie in it. _

There was another knock at the door. Shane was here. I opened the door, and Philip stared right at him.

"Andrea what is this asshole doing here?"

"I am pregnant," I whispered. _**If looks could kill I swear Shane gave Philip one.**_

"He did this on purpose. He wants to keep us apart," Shane said looking at me with those dark eyes.

"Mind your own business asshole. This is our baby. And I have been here for Andrea not you," Philip shouted.

"You don't have to be with him because there is a baby, Andrea," Shane said quietly to me.

"I know, but Philip and I are going to need to be alone to talk. I am so sorry. I had no idea.I'll call you later," I said.

"Don't let him suck you back in, Andrea. He is fucking crazy. I can't prove it but I know it. He won't be good for you or that baby," Shane said walking out the door_. My heart fell to floor when Shane left my apartment. Was it really over this time? How did I let this happen? _Philip walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. Tears were running down my face_. I was so lost and confused._

"_It's all right baby," Philip said patting my back. I said nothing but buried my head in his arms. If I could only turn back time I thought. I would have gone home with Philip. _


	20. Chapter 19

**22\. Fate**

_**Sooner or later it comes down to fate. I might as well be the one-Billy Joel **_

_Philip stayed the night touching my belly while we were in the bed. He was attached to this baby, but I was not ready. I did not want to have this baby. I wanted to be with Shane. Would I lose Shane forever if I kept this baby? Maybe this was a sign that I should be with Philip. That it was fate for us to be together, and Shane was only part of my past. That's what my head said but heart wanted Shane still._

"Have you decided what you are going to do about the baby?"

"Yes. I am going to have an abortion. We're not ready for this," I said looking at the floor.

"Andrea, I am forty years old, and I have lost a daughter already. Please don't do this. If you aren't ready I'll take care of the baby. I promise," His brown eyes were sincere.

But how could I carry a baby for nine months and give it away? Could I raise Philip's child and still be with Shane? People do it all the time right? Blended families. Maybe, just maybe that would work.

"What if you raised the baby and I would could for visits. We could co parent together?"

"Yes, but I think you should come home with me. Raise our baby together. I love you and that baby," Philip whispered in my ear.

"The way I feel about Shane is not going to stop. I wish I could control who I love, but I can't," I said feeling guilty.

"Give me chance. This happened for a reason. Our whole relationship did. That night at the bar you felt something, and I know it," Philip pleaded.

"Lust is what I felt Philip. That night and ever night we have been together since. I have I ever told you once that I love you?"

"No," He said quietly.

"I never said because I did not feel it. Not for a minute. You are someone I liked to fuck and that's all," I answered coldly.

"That's not all. I am the father of your unborn child. If that counts for anything, "Philip said loudly.

"It does, but I don't know if I am going to keep this baby."

"Andrea, please consider keeping it," Philip pleaded.

"I will, but you can not try to guilt me into being with you because of the baby. You understand. If I decide to be with Shane you have to respect that. Understand?"

"Yes, Andrea. You have made your feelings clear now," Philip said walking out the door. _He looked at me with those sad brown eyes. _

"_Philip," I said walking after him. I needed to let him go. What was wrong with me?_

"_Yes?"_

"_I won't do anything about the baby without telling you first. I promise," I said softly._

"_Good, but I know you Andrea. You won't go through with it," He said touching my stomach again. Then walked off slowly to his car. Why was he not fighting harder? I could not believe he was just walking away. Was I disappointed? He was gone now, and there was Shane walking up to me. How long had Shane been outside my apartment?_

"Sorry I was waiting in car until he left," Shane said taking me into his arms.

"I think I want to keep it."

"The baby?"

"Yes, but I don't want to lose you again," I admitted.

"You won't. I'll help you raise this baby, and we can still be together. I will love the baby because it is part of you," He said holding out the silver ring he give me all those years ago.

"You kept it?"

"Think I threw out your engagement ring? I have waiting to put it back on your finger since you took it off darling," Shane said sliding it on my finger.

"I didn't ever say yes," I teased.

"Will you?"

"Yes," I said kissing Shane's lips. _This baby in stomach would be ours. Shane's and mine. We would have a family, I thought. Philip would understand in time. He would move on. And we could still raise this baby together. _

"I only wish we would never have to deal with that crazy ex of your again," Shane said when we broke away.

"_He wants to raise the baby," I said looking his dark eyes._

"_Hell no. Don't give him your baby. There is something off about him," Shane said._

"_He just loves me," I said still feeling guilty. I cause this but using him._

"Well, he watching us now. And I am about to beat the shit out of him," Shane said showing me Philip's car parked across the street. I had two men following after me. This was unreal, I thought. I was going to have take care of this.

"No don't do that," I said softly.

"Then I will call someone from the police department. You need to get the law involved, Andrea. He is starting to stalk you. It will only get worst if you act like him," Shane warned.

"Philip is only upset. He believes this baby means we should be together. He is only venting. When he is done I know he'll calm down."

"Andrea, you need to the wake up. Your relationship with Philip is starting to get dangerous, and if you don't make it clear to him that it is over then you are only playing mind games with this psycho's head."

"Look I have to go talk to Philip and I you understand," I told Shane walking away.

"I am going to wait here until you get back," Shane said looking at me protectively.

_I said nothing but nod in agreement. I slowly walk toward where Philip is parked. He sees me and pulls up in the car._

"_Get in," Philip says as he pulls up to me._

_I might as well get this over with, I thought getting into his blue mustang. Shane was right I had to tell Philip the truth. That I had and always would love Shane. _


	21. Chapter 20

**23\. Over **

_His eyes were glazed over. Those beautiful light brown eyes that come always convince me to do anything. Were now filled with pain, and Shane was right. I could not lead him on anymore. I could not make him think there was a chance for us. I had to be honest._

"So I leave and Shane comes over?" Philip said angrily.

"I did not invite him over. People seem to just show up at my apartment," I said brushing my hair from my face, and I know he has seen the engagement ring. His hand is now grabbing my finger, and he takes off the ring.

"You can not be serious about marrying this asshole?"

"I am," I said reaching for his hand that had my ring.

"You know how I feel right now? I feel like shit. Like I was a piece of toilet paper that you used to clear up your shit off your ass," Philip screamed.

"If you would only calm down. I never lied to you. I told you we see where the relationship went, but did I ever say I love you?"

"No, but," Philip whispered.

"Exactly, I never said because I never did. Our relationship was only physical, and you know that. I tried to be honest with but you only saw what you wanted," I said taking my ring out of his hands.

"So you are just going to marry Shane and abort our baby?"

"I want the baby too. We can raise it together," I reassured him.

"Together while you are married to Shane, right?"

"Yes, but you can still be in the baby life. He or she will always know that you are the father," I promised.

"That's not good enough , Andrea. I want you. I love you. I can't lose another family," Philip pleaded.

"You have to understand that I am with Shane now. I need you to respect that," I told him firmly.

"Answer one question for first."

"All right," I said softly.

"If there was no Shane in the picture could you ever love me?"

"Yes, I think maybe I could," I said softly.

"I'll take back to your apartment," Philip said determined.

"So you are going to leave us alone?"

"Yes, Andrea. I know what I have to do now," Philip said as I got out of the car. He drove away quickly and I ran into Shane's arms.

"He is going to back off," I told Shane smiling.

"He better. You don't need any unnecessary stress while pregnant," Shane said taking my hand.

"I can't believe you aren't running away. What type of man sticks with a woman who is pregnant with someone else kid?"

"A man who is in love with her," Shane smiled.

"We are going to be happy nothing will stop us now," I said.

"You have no idea how long I have waited to you say that," Shane said.

_We walked back into my apartment together and laid in bed together. Philip would always be the father of my baby, but I was going to marry Shane. I would not lose him again. _


	22. Chapter 21

**23\. Revenge **

**Philip's point of view**

_Andrea was leaving me. She was and taking my baby. Like hell she was, I thought. I would get her and the baby back. I would give Shane a chance to walk away, but if he didn't I had no problem taking what was mine. Andrea and MY baby belonged with me._

Watching her walk away I knew it was only a matter of time before we got back together. I make sure of it. Andrea was not going to be able to walk out of my life like this. I show her we were meant to be together if that is the last thing I do, I decided. I drove home slowly thinking about the best way to get rid of Shane would be. Because people he came into the picture everything was perfect, and now he fucked it all up. I could see Andrea's clear blue eyes looking up at me as she said, "If there was no Shane, I love would love you." That was all I neededand my mind was made up. Shane had to go. I lost my wife and my daughter Penny already. I could not lose Andrea and this baby too.

They were the only reason to be alive and I were keeping them at all cost. Mr. Shane Walsh would learn not to fuck with what is mine, I thought angrily.


	23. Chapter 22

**24\. Heaven**

_Waking up to Shane's lips pressing against my body was like being in heaven. _

"_Good morning, sweetheart," Shane whispered in my ear as I opened my eyes to look at him. I took in his dark skin, chocolate eyes, and soft smile. This is real. Shane is back and we going to get married this time. We weren't kids anymore, and we were both ready for this commitment. That fact I was pregnant with another man would not stop us from being together, I promised myself._

"Morning," I told Shane getting out of bed. His lips were on my neck and he slowly pushed me back on the bed.

"Let's get this day started off right," Shane said taking off my tee-shirt. There was no reason to argue. I gave in to him, and this time it felt even more right then the first. Every kiss and every touch proved that we were meant to be together. Shane and I felt so right.

"I love you," I promised.

"Love you, Andrea," Shane said his arms wrapped around me in the bed.

"You know I was thinking after the baby was born we might start over some where new," I smiled.

"What about Philip?"

"There are planes and cars. We could work out visits for him and the baby," I answered.

"I think it's a damn a good idea," Shane said kissing my lips.

"California. Just the two of us and the new baby, of course," I said softly.

"That sounds like heaven. We will be a family. I'll protect you and this little one too," Shane said touching my tummy.

"What do we need protecting from?"

"Philip," Shane said.

"He is harmless," I answered feeling a little offend.

"My i**ntuition** tells me there is something off about this Philip Blake. You need to trust me and be careful Andrea," Shane said.

"I do trust you. And I want to be a family just like you said. Little Jessica is going to love you," I smiled pressing my lips against Shane's.

"Jessica? No, I don't like that name at all," Shane teased.

"Madison?"

"No."

"Amanda?"

"You want her to have elegant name. One she can grown into. Something simple, but classic," Shane smile.

"Like what?"

"Like Emily," Shane said.

"Emily? I love that name. If it's a girl she'll be Emily," I smiled taking his hand_. I would have loved any name he suggested, I thought._

"Little baby E," Shane smiled.

"She's going to love you. Just as much as I do," I promised Shane. This was fate I thought. Philip was supposed to be in my life to give me this baby, and Shane was here to help get through this pregnancy. No it was not ideal, but we could make it all _work. And in time I knew Philip would understand I was not the right woman for him. I make him understand. Philip would be in this baby's life, but our romantic relationship was over. I knew I belong with Shane no doubt in my mind._


	24. Chapter 23

**25\. MY ANDREA**

_**Why was Andrea doing this to us? What did Shane have that I didn't? Why him not me? Couldn't Andrea see this baby was a sign we belonged together? Our baby should be raised by its mother and father. And Shane should not even be in the picture. I was about to let him know that.**_

"What the hell are you doing here?" Shane asked angrily when I walked up to his police car.

"I came to your apartment to tell you to leave Andrea the fuck alone. She is mine, and that baby is mine to. Can't you see there is no where for you in this picture? You waited to late, and Andrea belongs with me now," I told him.

"That would be true if Andrea loved you. If anyone should walk away it's you, asshole,"Shane said pushing me with his arms.

"What is your logic behind that? I am that baby's father not you," I said pushing Shane onto the ground. He was down on his knees and I wanted nothing more then to kill him right then.

"Because Andrea does love you. She loves me. And that baby will love me too. Because unlike you I am not a fucking head case. The best thing for you would be to walk away from Andrea. I'll be better for her and that baby," Shane said getting up from the ground.

"Fuck you. I am warning you. Leave Andrea and my baby alone or else," I said pushing his chest again. Harder this time.

"Else what? What the fuck you going to do about it pussy boy?"

"You don't find out," I warned.

"You know what? You can't do shit to me. I can kick your ass any day of the week. And I am not walking away from Andrea or her baby. If you want to even see the baby you better straighten up. Stop stalking me and Andrea. I see you following us," Shane admitted.

"I am watching out for her. I don't trust you," I said.

"The one thing we have in common. I don't trust you either. Don't ever come to my apartment again," Shane said his hands up ready to fight if needed.

"I do whatever the fuck I please. You better take my warning seriously. You left Andrea once and you can do it again. It's only a matter of time before you hurt her again."

"I never going to hurt Andrea again or leave her. You'd have to kill me first asshole," Shane said getting up in my face.

"That could be arranged," I whispered.

"What the hell did you just say?"

"Nothing asshole. Just leave Andrea alone. We belong together," I said walking to my car.

"You come here again I'll have your ass thrown in jail," Shane promised.

I said nothing but walked into my car. I knew he was not going to leave Andrea alone and he was planning on raising _**my**_ baby. This was my family not Shane's. I had lost my wife and Penny_. I would not lose Andrea or this new baby either. Over his dead body Shane had said. Well, that was what exactly my plan. Cops get killed all the time, and no one would think anything of it. _


	25. Chapter 25

**28\. Light vs. Darkness**

"So you are really going to marry Shane?" Carol asked as she took another chip. I was seating at the table with Carol, Beth, and Michonne at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

"Yes," I smiled taking a sip of my spite. I had quit drinking sodas because the caffeine was not good for the baby.

"Is the wedding going to be here?"

"No, going to Florida next month. So we can have our family can be there. My little sister is going to be my maid of honor," I said smiling.

"That's great," Beth smiled.

"You are moving pretty fast. And you really going to keep Philip's baby?" Michonne asked concerned.

"Yes. The baby can't help who the father is," I said softly.

"You're doing the right thing," Beth agreed.

"I would agree but keeping this baby means Philip will never be out of your life. And you know how crazy he is. Remember the time he freaked out because you went to the grocery store with Daryl? And he tracked the two of you down to make sure you were there," Carol reminded me.

"That wasn't such a big deal," I said softly.

"Baby or no baby I am glad you two broke up," Beth agreed with Carol.

"Philip was not that bad," I said still defensive.

"Andrea, you did not see the looks he gave us. Daryl said he threaten him to stay away from you even after he knew we were dating," Beth said.

"I never denied he got crazy jealous, but it was sort of flattering," I said pouring some salsa in a bow and reaching for some more chips.

"It's not flattering , it's creepy," Michonne replied coldly.

"I think he might be a good person deep down, but he isn't right for you," Beth said taking her fork out to get some rice.

"That's understatement. That guy is a loser," Michonne said interrupting Beth.

"He is not that bad," I said. _No I was not still with Philip, but I felt like my friends were over reacting. _

"_You did not see the looks he gave us," Beth said._

"Well, we aren't a couple anymore."

"Keep it that way. And you need to protect that baby too," Michonne warned.

_Well, so much for a relaxing girls day I thought._

"_Tell me more about the wedding," Beth said changing the subject for me._

"It's going to small. I don't want it to be a fuss," I answered.

"Because you are keeping it a secret. She's afraid of Philip," Michonne said bringing him up again.

"It's not a secret," I replied.

"What not a secret?"

_I looked behind me, and I saw Philip. What was he doing here? Maybe, he really was stalking me like everyone said._

"That Shane and I are getting married," I replied looking into Philip's light brown eyes.

"We'll see about that Andie," Philip said placing his hand on my shoulder.

"What are you doing here? Did you follow me?"

"No, I was here having lunch with some associates. And I saw you here," Philip moving closer on me. _He could see the look of disapproval of my friends' faces, but he did not care. That was the type of person Philip was. Most people were easily charmed by him, but the ones who weren't did not bother him. He could stand there in front of them with no fear._

"You should go back to your friends," Michonne snapped.

"No one asked you. Is you car here Andrea?"

"No, I rode with Michonne. She was going to drive me back to work, and I was going to get my car to meet you at the doctor's office."

"Why don't you just ride with me? I can take you back to your car afterwards," His hands was burning my shoulder.

"That's not a good idea," Michonne warned.

"I'll be fine," I said walking over to Philip. _He was telling the truth about being here with his employees I could see them at table near by. What harm could riding with to the doctor appointment do?_

"_A pleasure as always ladies," Philip said taking my check and leaving money on the table to pay it._

"_You did not need to do that," I said staring into those eyes again._

"_You're having my baby. That's the least I can do," Philip said taking my hand. He still had this power over me. A mysterious pull I could not even explain. Shane was like the day, and Philip was the darkness. I needed the sun in order to live, but I still longed for the beauty of the darkness. You are with Shane. Don't let this go to far. This is your chance to explain to Philip you are moving, and don't let your addiction to get the best of you. Philip is a drug to you. Not something that is good for you. He is something you think you need, but you know that you love Shane._

"It's our baby," I said getting into his car.

"You being in my car feels so right."

"Well, I don't see it happening too often," I replied touching my tummy.

"I do. I am not going to lose you Andrea or this baby. Not to Shane or anyone. Andrea, I love you," Philip whispered in my ear_. He started the car and I seat there speechless. His hand was in mine, and I knew if I did not stop myself I end up where all this begin. I could not sleep with Philip again. I had made my choice, and I had to stand by it._

**29\. Ultrasound **

_**I won't lose them. I lost Penny and my wife. I was keeping Andrea and this baby. No matter what I had to do. There were no right or wrong anymore. Just what needed to be done.**_

"I am surprised you did not invite Shane," I said when got into the room.

"I figured you prefer I didn't, but he is coming to the next one," She said looking all the floor. She was hiding something from me, and I could tell it. Andrea was so easy to read.

"He won't be here the next time. By then you and I will be back together," I said putting my hand on her tummy.

"Philip, we were never together. You were at most a boyfriend. I never loved you the way I do Shane. I just liked you a lot. Too much actually," She said trying to hide her feelings.

"You still want me. We both know it. Shane is just what you think you should want. Someone you grew up with and who goes to church with you. But he is never going to make you happy like I do. And he will let you down again. I would never to do that. I have never cheated on you. This baby is ours. Please consider giving us another chance?"

"I'll consider it," She whispered waiting for the nurse to return.

The young nurse came back into to the room, and looked at Andrea.

"We're going to get an ultra sound," the nurse explained to use.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Yes, we just want to get a look at the baby," She said.

Andrea looked at me reassuringly. _We followed her to the ultrasound machine, and nurse performed the ultrasound. She pointed out the heartbeat to us, and Andrea was relieved. Seeing that heartbeat meant everything to us. Andrea loved this baby as much as I did. Maybe, she was coming around I thought._

"I was nervous about the ultrasound," Andrea admitted when we getting into the car.

"I thought you didn't know if you wanted the baby or not," I said in a cold tone.

"I love baby E," She said.

"Baby E?"

"Yeah that's the nickname Shane and I came up with. We think it's a girl, and I thinking about the name Emily. If that's okay with you," Andrea whispered.

_**What the hell was she thinking picking out baby names with Shane and not me? What was wrong with her? I was the father not her boyfriend she was playing house with. I was this close to losing it. But I took a deep breathe. **_

"_**You hate the name?"**_

"No, if you love it then I love it," I said driving in the direction of the law firm, where she worked.

"That means a lot to me," Andrea smiled.

"Why?"

"Because even though we aren't together anymore I still care about you. I mean you were my first. And now you're my baby's father. That's not nothing," Andrea said moving closer.

She did care, and still did. That was enough. All I needed to confirm that Shane had to get out of the picture one way or another.

"So I do mean something to you?" I asked walking Andrea to her car.

"Of course. I mean there will always be a part of that will think what if?"

"You don't have to wonder," I said leaning against her car.

"I am NOT leaving Shane. I can't deal with losing him again," Andrea said moving away from me. And then I saw Shane sitting in his truck. He was watching us. Was he supposed to me Andrea here? Or did he just not trust her. Either way I was going to give him a show since he had the nerve to spy on us. Shane was the one who did not belong. Not me. Andrea was my girlfriend and that was my baby.

"Shane is your past. Don't you see that? This baby in your tummy proves it. It's our time now. He had is chance with you. Now it's my turn," I said moving closer to her.

"Philip, there is something I need to tell you. Shane and I," She started to say.

"I don't want to hear his name. You say you still care about me. You can't say things like that and not expect me to react this way," I said wrapping my arms around her.

_I moved closer, and placed my lips against hers. She closed her eyes, and kissed me back. While she was still in my arms I looked over to see Shane's face. Hurt I watched he drive away. Good, maybe the asshole was learning he didn't belong with Andrea. _

"I can't," Andrea said pulling away from my embrace.

"You could. Andrea, we could be happy together. If you just give us a chance," I whispered my fingers slowly touching her hand.

"That might be true, but you know that you have done some fucked up things. Checking my phone, starting a fight with Shane, and what about the times you got mad about my friendship with Daryl? We never had a chance for a relationship because you were to crazy jealous, and always pushing for more. You wouldn't let things happen naturally," Andrea said honestly.

"If I got jealous it was because I loved you so much. And I am sorry for all the crazy things I did. I know I can be better. Think about our baby. I know I can be a good husband and father," I promised her.

"Part of me wants that. Because this is our baby, but," Andrea said staring at mw with those blue eyes.

"But what?"

"But the bigger part of me wants Shane. I love him, and I always will. He is my destiny, and there could never be anyone else," Andrea replied walking to her car.

" What did that kiss mean then? How can you kiss me like that, and say you have feelings for me?"

"I do have feelings for you. But it's lust and desire. Not the type of the relationship that will last," Andrea said.

"Who says that desire can't make for a long term relationship? At least you admitted out loud you can't resist me," I said.

"I have to get home. Shane will wonder were I am," Andrea said taking out her car keys.

"Andrea, I know how this ends," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"You , me, and the baby are going to be together. End it with Shane now and save him the heartache."

"Philip, I am not letting go of Shane. Please don't make this harder," She said getting her car.

"I love you Andrea, and that baby. It's only matter of time before you realize we belong together," I said . _She said nothing, but drove away in tears. She had no idea what Shane had saw, but I knew their break up was coming. This was almost too easy, I thought._


	26. Chapter 24

**26\. Now**

_Shane walked into my apartment looking like he been in a street fight._

"What happened?"

"Your psycho ex showed up at my apartment. We need to leave now, Andrea," Shane said pulling into me his arms. I rested my head on his shoulders. I felt so save in his arms.

"You mean move?"

"Yes, the sooner the better. We should move today," Shane said looking at me with those brown eyes_. How tempting would it be to pick up and runaway with him now? Moving to California or even back home to Florida with Shane sounded like a dream. But it was not realistic. I needed to stay here and finished up at court. I needed to at least put in my two weeks notice at my job and find a new one. I could not support this baby on love alone. Besides the truth was Philip was the father and he had legal rights._

"We can't move today. I have to sort things out first, and I have to respect that Philip is this baby's father. Even though we both hate it," I said touching my tummy.

"Look, that man is crazy. He showed up at my apartment, and tried to bet the shit out of me. He is going to stop at nothing trying to get you back. You did not see this mad look he had in his eyes," Shane pleaded with me.

"You are overreacting. Like I said before I am responsible for this mess. I lead Philip on too many times, and should have been more careful when it came to birth control. So we need to deal with this like adults. I can't just runaway. That would only solve the problem in the short term. We all have to find a way to get along for the baby," I said taking Shane's hands.

"I thought you agreed to move away with me?"

"Yes, after the baby is born. Not now when we don't have anything planned. Just give me more time to figure things out, and to talk with Philip," I whispered into Shane's ear.

"You are going to talk to him after what he just did?"

"Yeah, but you having nothing to worry about. I love you only you. And I going to marry you," I promised.

"It's not you I am worried about it's him. He is going to use everything he can to break us apart. I have already lost you once Andrea, and will not let that happen again," Shane said almost yelling.

"I am telling you nothing will break us apart. You, me, and baby E are going to be a family. I know a lot of people are going to judge me for not marrying the baby's father, but I don't care. I want you."

"You are convinced this baby is a girl, huh?"

"Yeah. I know I am only five weeks, but in my gut I know that my baby is a girl," I said glazing into Shane's brown eyes.

"Do you know how much I love you, and this baby? I feel like you two are my family now. Promise me we'll leave here as soon as possible. Make a new start," Shane whispered.

"I promise. Let me talk to my boss at work, and we will get a plan in to action. Find a new place to live and jobs before we move."

"Keep your distance from Philip?"

"Yes. I am only talking to him when I have to about the baby," I whispered.

_Shane nodded silently hurting. He wanted this baby to be his. I did too._

"You know how you can make sure I am safe?"

"_Move in here with me. We don't have to relocate to live together," I said pulling Shane's lips closer to mine._

"Darling, that is a fucking great idea," Shane said returning my kiss. His lips were covering my body and I thought I could feel someone walking us out my window. I don't know why but I felt like we were being watched. I pulled away from Shane's arms for a moment to close the blinds because I could not shake my uneasiness.

"I have good ideas every once in a while," I said returning to his arms. _His arms felt so warm and safe. I love this man, I thought._

"_I love you, Andrea," Shane said pulling me on the couch._

_The sound of Shane's voice, and his body covering mine I forget all my fears. Shane and I were together at last. The way it was meant to me. Philip, my unborn child, and all those things would work out. As long as I had Shane with everything was possible. We would have our life together, and I make Philip understand. Yes, everything was going to work out._

**27\. Betrayal **

_Shane did not take my warnings seriously, and he had return to Andrea after our confrontation. I watched as Andrea placed her arms around him through the apartment window. His hands were on her tummy touching my baby. I had done so much for Andrea. Took her into my home when she was alone, and this was how she repaid me? By going back to the loser who cheated on her. Of course Shane loved her now that she was a successful lawyer who would take care of him. He wanted to use Andrea to take care of him while he raised my child. Like hell I was allowing that to happen. How could Andrea do betray me like this? Shane was only going to hurt her again, and he was all wrong for Andrea. Yes, he was younger and better looking. But it was only a matter of time before he hurt her again. I had to save Andrea and my baby from him. I could see Shane for what he really was. And even though Andrea hurt me I still loved her deeply. I was going to get her back no matter what. Shane would be out of the picture. I had a plan that I would be putting into action if Andrea did not wake up soon. And she would have no one to blame but herself for what would happen to her so_

_called true love. No one would take away what was mine, and Andrea would curse the day she left me. I was a man who knew in this life you had to take what you wanted. If losing my wife and a child had taught me anything that was it. _

Author notes: I hope you are enjoying this love story. I wanted to go darker with this one, and I am please with the results so far. Hope you enjoyed reading more from Philip's POV.


	27. Chapter 26

**30\. ****_Master Manipulator and second chances_**

**I drive home trying to clear my head. What should I do about Philip? I took a drink from my water bottle. I wanted nothing more than a regular coke or tea. But caffeine was not good for the baby. Neither was all this stress, I thought. I walked into the apartment and it felt cold and empty. All of Shane's things were gone, and he was nowhere to be found. His truck was gone. Had he already decided to move out? Maybe me having Philip's baby was too much for him? Or maybe he had seen that kiss in the parking lot? I reached into my purse and picked up my cell phone. I had to made sure Shane knew he was the only one for me. I hold the phone up to my ear and wait for him to answer.**

"Andrea," Shane breathes.

"I know what you saw, but it's not what you think. I told Philip my future is with you," I said softly. Please come home, I think to myself. Say it Andrea. But somehow I can't find the words.

"I wish I could believe that Andrea. But I saw the way you looked at him. The way you looked at Philip. You were staring at him so intensely. There are clearly still feelings there," Shane said angrily.

"Of course I care about. We are having a child together, but I am telling you that you are the one. It was only a kiss."

"How can I believe that? I just can't do this anymore.I don't trust you. It's over," Shane says hanging up the phone.

_Of course he couldn't. How could I expect Shane to marry me while I was having Philip's baby? The idea of having an abortion comes to my mind again. But I realize Philip was right. I could never do that. Not that I would judge anyone who did, but I loved this baby. Even more than Shane. Looks, like it is just you and me baby E. I better think of a boy name too, I think touching my stomach. Suddenly there is a knock at a door. I walk over and open it. I see Philip looking me right in the eyes._

"Your wallet fell out of your purse and I figured I better bring it back to you," Philip whispered.

"Is that what really happened?"

"No, I took out so I have a reason to come here," Philip says glazing in my eyes.

"A moment of sincerity," I said giving him a small smile. I find myself wiping tears from my cheeks. I didn't want to cry, but a life without Shane was hard to imagine.

"Well, I shouldn't have done that."

"I am glad you're here though," I said in a soft voice.

"Where is Shane?"

"He saw that kiss, and he left."

"I am sorry Andrea," Philip murmurs.

"No, your not," I said leaning close to him.

"Well, I am sorry Shane hurt you," He says placing his hands on my face.

"I can't blame him."

"Andrea, it was only a kiss."

"It's not just a kiss. It's the baby. Who would want to marry someone having another man's baby? No one could look pass that," I said allowing Philip to hold me. I should be fighting my desires for him. With Shane or not Philip's actions had been crazy over the last few months. This relationship between Philip and I could be dangerous to say the least. Yet, I knew I was addicted. Shane was gone and like any drug addict I wanted my fix.

"I would. If this was Shane's baby I still want you," Philip says kissing my forehead.

"You want to come in?"

"If you want me to," Philip said calmly.

"I don't want to be alone," I admitted.

"But do you want to be with me?"

"Yeah, I do," I fill my skin turning red_. It's a good thing Michonne moved out, I thought. She would be kicking Philip out before I even let him in the door. I knew my friends were right about him. Philip I been acting like a madman, but I had hurt him. He wasn't a bad person, I told myself. The last two months had been hell for him. All Philip ever wanted to do was love me. Maybe if it was over with Shane, I could give Philip another chance._

"You are being so nice to me, and I guess I am not used to it," Philip said smiling unsure.

"You were honest with me. I like it when you aren't playing mind game," I said linking my fingers with his.

"Andrea, I don't play mind games," Philip denied as came in my apartment , and shuts the door. I watched as he locks the door. Why is he doing that? To keep Shane out? Doesn't he know that Shane has a key? Maybe, he wants to keep me inside?

"You know how you can be," I said looking into his eyes.

"How is that?"

"You are a **_master manipulator_**_," I flush more. Honestly, I was feeling a little crazy myself. One minute I am crying over Shane, and the next I am alone with Philip. My ex boyfriend who could be a little unbalanced to say the least. Never, had I been this honest with Philip. Our short time together was mainly focused on sex, and going a way for weekends._

"Some people don't know what they want, and they need someone like me to help them decide. That's not manipulation. I am an opportunist if anything," Philip said his hands on my back. Slowly his hands were placed on my face. His lips pressed against mine.

**_Stop Andrea, you can't sleep with Philip. Shane just broke up with you, and you could get back together. If you do this now it will all be over. You love Shane. And this may feel right now. But you will regret it later. That was what the voice in my head said over and over. I should listen but I don't. I kiss Philip back._**

He moves slowly, removing my striped tee-shirt. His body moves against mine, and I become a aware of his erection rubbing against my hip.

"I want you," I whisper in his ear.

"Love me Andrea. Save me from my solitude," Philip is begging me. _What is it about me that draws him to me. I want him because he is beautiful, but I am such a normal looking girl. Why does he want me? _

"I can't save anyone, but if you want to be with me no more manipulation. I want honesty. You seem like you have changed. Is it possible?"

"Yes. I won't lie to you again," Philip promises pressing his lips to mine again. _He starts kissing my body, and I am tingling all over. Being with Philip was exciting, and almost dangerous. The only person who could stop me now was Shane. Because there was no turning back now. I was already imaging Philip's naked body wrapped around mine. __**Would my hungry for Philip ever end? Did I want it too? **_

"If you keep that promise I think we have a real chance of working," I admit.

"And Shane?"

"Maybe we just aren't meant to last. This is the second breakup. We keep giving up on each other, but you never gave up on me," I said running my fingers through his brown hair that had gray showing through.

"Never. No matter how hopeless it looked for me. And no matter how many people said I was losing it. I never stopped fighting for us," Philip grins.

"I like that you never gave up. But no more stalking or lies," I said as he gazes down at me.

"I promise Miss Andrea," Philip says taking me into his arms_. Somehow, I felt like I belonged there in those strong. Maybe I could love Philip. We could have our family. But he have to keep his promise. Philip laid me on the bed, and started to kiss my body. He wanted to make love now._

_"Wait," I said taking off my engagement ring from Shane. Philip watched carefully as I placed the ring on the nightstand. I laid back on the bed and went back into Philip's arms. He said nothing, but his face showed that he appreciated me taking of the ring. I had to pick one before the baby got here. I won't keep going back and forth, I promised myself._

"You're doing the right thing," Philip said kissing my lips.

I hope so, I think getting back into the bed with him. His hands cover me, and I know I am giving into him again. Philip is my sweet addiction, I was

afraid I would never get enough of him._ And he wasn't good for me._


	28. Chapter 27

**31\. Secrets**

Things were going better then planned. Although the idea of killing Shane had gotten blood pumping. I wanted to hurt him, and feel the pain I did when he took Andrea from me. I would not have to do that now, I thought relieved.

"Morning," Andrea said sweetly. Her blonde curls were falling in her face.

"Would you like to go out for breakfast?"

"Yes, you are mind reader," She said kissing my cheek.

"Why don't you get dress first and then I'll shower. I know how long you take," I said just taking in her beauty.

"I won't take that long. I am hungry, but I'll shower first," Andrea said leaving the room. I _looked over and saw her cell phone. No more stalking, and lies I promised Andrea. I knew that included going through her phone. I shouldn't, but I grabbed it off the charger. I turned it on and went through her messages. The normal stuff was there. Messages from Carol, Beth, Daryl, and a several for Michonne. Then I found what I was afraid of. A text message from Shane._

Andrea, I am sorry about the other night. I love you and baby E. I still want to get married next month. Can I come over?

I texted him back **: No busy at the moment.**

Shane replied: DOING WHAT? I mean live with you _now_.

I typed back**; In bed with Philip.**

Shane: NO ,WAY IN HELL. You can not be serious!

Yes. You said it was over.

Shane: So you hook up with him that quickly? Shit, do I not mean anything to you? I just told you I was sorry. Why would you get back with the guy who you said was only good for sex?

He is the father of my baby, and I want you to respect that I am going to be with him now. Don't call or text me again.

Shane: FINE! You deserve his crazy ass ! But you will regret this.

I wait a few minutes later and there is no reply. He has given up, I thought. Maybe he'll leave us alone. I delete the messages from Andrea's phone and put it back on the charger. She walks in the room with nothing but a towel wrapped around her. Seeing her like that all wet and naked gets me excited to say the least.

"Everything okay?"

"It is now," I reply grabbing her ass.

"I forget how naughty you are," Andrea grins as I lay her back on the bed.

"Let me remind you," I said covering her body with mine. _We're in bed together, and I know everything is back the way it should be. _


	29. Chapter 28

**32\. Runway bride**

_Second time Andrea had canceled a wedding to me. She should be called Runway bride, I thought angrily. I understood what she was saying. It would be understandable to want to be with the father of her child. But Philip had issues, and Andrea seem a little scared of him. Not too scared when she was kissing him, I thought . I wanted nothing to go find Philip and beat his ass. Andrea, was my girl._

But Something about this was not adding up. I knew Andrea and this was not like her. She would never dump someone through a text message. Philip was behind this in some way. Andrea still loved me and we get married just like planned. I was going to get her far away from that psycho, and I was to protect that baby. Shit, how did this old man even get someone pregnant anyways? He was almost twenty years older then Andrea what could the two have in common? I was not losing her to some old fuck. I would not lose her to anyone. Andrea loved me and I remind her. Until she told me face to face I would accept it was over. Philip could play his mind games, but I had some tricks of my own to win Andrea back. I did not move all the way here to lose her again. Andrea was my first love, and she would be my wife. Philip or no Philip. I was not the type of guy to walk away from something I wanted. And I sure as hell wasn't leaving Andrea without a fight.

**33\. Roses**

_One week had gone by and Philip was doing a good job being honest with me. He had stopped going through my phone and I felt like things were getting better between us. We could be happy, I thought. Still Shane was in the back of mind. We were supposed to be getting married in three weeks. He said he loved. Yet, he left without letting me explain anything. Shane does not love you, I thought. Should I even be with Philip if I still thought about Shane this way? Not to mention I could not tell any of my friends we were back together. Because all my friends either hated Philip or were scared of him. Maybe that should tell me something? I needed to get back to work, I thought looking at my desk. There was a knock on the door. My secretary Maggie came in carrying a huge bouquet of tie-dye roses._

"These are so colorful," Maggie said as she placed them on my desk. I smiled at her and looked at the flowers. My first thought was they were from Philip. But he would have sent red or pink. This colorful was not his style. Could they be from Shane? I opened the card.

_Andrea,_

_I saw these flowers and they made me think of you. Because they stood out from the others. Beautiful and unique. Just like you. Like you have always been. I know you said that you are with Philip now, but please let see you one more time?_

_Love,_

_Shane_

Reading over the card made me think. I haven't talked to Shane since he dumped me. How did he know I was seeing Philip again? Did he guess? But the card clearly stated I told Shane I was with Philip. I hadn't. How could this be explained? Surely, Philip had not gone through my phone again? He promised. I put up the card and walked out of my office. I needed fresh air, I thought. Walking over to my _Mercedes_-_Benz_ ,I saw Shane standing there with a rainbow-colored rose in his hand. He looked so attractive in tight black shirt showing off his muscles.

"Andrea," Shane said softly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, sweetheart," Shane said moving closer.

"You said it was over," I said confused.

"I texted you that night asking to come home," He said.

"I never got the message," I breathed.

"You did. You answered that you wanted to be with Philip," Shane said.

"No, but I was with Philip. He must have been the one who responded to the messages," I said softly. _Philip hadn't changed, I thought. My heart dropped to the floor. He was never going to change his ways. _

"See he is crazy Andrea. He can't be trusted," Shane said his eyes glowing.

"He shouldn't have done that. I can make my own choices."

"Philip did it because he knew you choose me. You love me Andrea," Shane said handing me the rose.

"I do ," I said resting my head on his arm_. I wanted to stop loving Shane, and move on with Philip. But I also wanted Philip to change too. If went through my phone what else had he done? You need to make up your mind Andrea, I thought. Who is it? Philip or Shane? You can't keep going back and forth._

"I love you too. I couldn't stop if I tried. And you know I did. I went seven years without you. Please don't make me go through that hell again," Shane begged.

"I can't make any promises now," I said looking at the ground. Shane loves you, and you love him. Always have. The love you two share is pure. It's nothing like the corrupted relationship you share with Philip. _Lustful, controlling, and dangerous even at times. So how could there even be a question in your mind whether to end things with Philip? Because you are having his baby. Not mention, he is beautiful and he makes you feel special. And you know he has a good heart. I realize now that I am torn. I had too chose between two very different men. Both who loved me. And who ever you pick someone gets hurt._

"I don't need promises. Just have lunch with me. Talk to me. Let me make my case why it should be me and not him," Shane said offering his hand.

"I can do that. You deserve that since we both were lied too," I said smiling at him.

"You are going to realize we belong together. That whatever you had with Philip has run it course. He is your past, and I am your future," Shane replies his dark eyes twinkling.

"If only it was that easy," I replied, breathlessly.


	30. Chapter 29

**34\. Not ready**

"You shouldn't have left me," I told Shane.

_Shane and I were at Steak and Shake. The place where Philip took me on our first date. His light brown eyes haunted me right now. I knew he wouldn't approve of this date. Shane was taking a bite out of cheeseburger, and washing it down with a coke._

"Well, you shouldn't have kiss Philip," He replied.

"Fair of enough. But he kissed me first," I said sipping a milkshake. I did not order anything else. My stomach was sick.

"You kissed him back."

"I know. I wish I hadn't," I admitted.

"I am glad you did," Shane answered.

"Why?"

"It was a wake up call for me. Honestly, I have been scared. Getting married and having a baby this fast. It would be scary for any guy," Shane said.

"So you were overwhelmed?"

"A little, and then I stopped by your work to see you. I saw you kissing that asshole, and I snapped. I used it as my excuse to bail, but that was a mistake. I don't want to leave you or that baby. I don't want you with Philip anyone else. No one but me," Shane said determined.

"How do I know you won't bail again?"

"I won't. I love you. I want things like they were before. I want you back. And a few weeks with Philip can't change how you feel about me. Did they?"

"No, nothing could change that. But the time a part did change how I feel about Philip," I murmur.

"You love him now?"

"No, but I realize I care about Philip. He's not like anyone I have met before. We have fun together, and he takes care of me," I whisper taking another sip of my vanilla milkshake.

"Why would you settle for him? This asshole lies and controls you. He has to have his way. If he hadn't gone through your phone then we'd be together now," Shane replied.

"I am not happy he went through my phone either, and I am not saying it's over with us."

"What are you saying then Andrea? I need answers."

"I can't keep going back and forth. I need to make a choice. I thought I had, but now I am unsure," I admitted.

"Honestly, Andrea you think there is a chance you are going to be with Philip?"

"We're having a baby together and I really can't explain my feelings for him. I am just now admitting to myself I have them," I said picking up a napkin wiping my face.

"So are you going back to him now?"

"No."

"Are you going to go with me?"

"No."

"What then?"

"I am going to take some time, and clear my head. Think about who I am going to spend my future with," I said looking into Shane's dark brown eyes.

He tries to smile, but can't. I study every inch of him. This could be the last time I get to look into those dark eyes. I look at dark hair, tan skin, and flawless face. Shane is so beautiful that it makes me want to cry. Not only that, but he has such a big heart. _He would be a great dad, and he loved this baby even though it was not his._

"I can't imagine a world where you and I don't end up together," Shane said taking my hand. I looked into those dark eyes, and there are no words needed_. He knows how much I love him, and he understands why I am torn. There is a look of sadness on his face. The idea that we're over is heartbreaking. We were so close to our wedding day._

"You better drive me back to my car," I said seeing he has finished eating.

"Don't do this," Shane said.

"What?"

"Tell me goodbye," Shane said, gazing at me.

"Shane, I have to think about what I am going to do. What will be best for me and the baby," I said softly.

"You know the answer to that already. We both know," Shane says walking over to me. _He is standing right beside now and his hands are on my hips. His lips are close to mine. We stand there for a few moments looking into each other eyes. Finally, his lips are pressed against mine, and his tongue presses against mine. He is kissing me in a public place in front of strangers. He wants me to know he isn't afraid for me. And he'll do whatever it takes._

"I need to think about this," I said pulling away. _The moment his body wasn't pressed against mine I felt my heart dropped. Why did I have to want them both so badly._

"I'll take you back to your car," Shane said sadly.

He hugged me one last night before I drove away. Seven years apart, and still Shane knew me so well. He could pick out the perfect flowers for me. Would it ever be that way with Philip? And what the hell was Philip thinking going through my phone? He promised no more lies, and yet the next day he continued to lie. What was I going to do? Looking at Shane the answer seem clear. I couldn't help who I love, I thought. Still I knew ending it with Philip again would not be easy. I knew I could fall in love with, but I was not in love with him. Not in the way I loved Shane. I could never love anyone like that. Shane would always be my first love.


	31. Chapter 30

**35\. Fucked up**

_This isn't your baby Shane. It's Philip. And there is a chance I am going to be with him. I have feelings for him. He's different from anyone I have ever meet. He takes care of me. Andrea was really going to leave me for this asshole. I could see them together outside his hands all over her. I thought I was going to throw up thinking about it. No way in hell was allowing this to happen. Philip had played his games going through her phone. Well, I could play games too. I drove my car to his house. I knocked loudly on his door._

"Shane, I have been expecting you," Philip smirked opening the door.

"Did you now? Andrea knows the truth about the messages. She knows you kept us apart," I yelled.

"It won't make a difference now," Philip said.

"Yes, it will. Andrea hates lies, and she loves me. You're time with her won't last," I answered.

"If you believed that you wouldn't be here. You'd be with Andrea now. But yet here you are," Philip said.

"I am not scared of you asshole."

"Maybe you should be."

"Like, hell. I could beat you to death," I promised him.

"I love to see you try. And I know why you here," Philip said walking outside.

"Why?"

"You want to tell me that you've have enough. That I need to stay away from Andrea," he answers, in an evil sounding tone.

"Fuck, yeah. It is enough," I said pushing Philip against the brick wall of his house. _I can smell alcohol on his breathe. He's been drinking. Has Andrea already ended things with him too? Or is he an alcoholic too? _

"I have enough too. I am not afraid to take out a threat," Philip said pushing me onto the ground. The ground is hard, but I am not hurt from the fall. We are two men fighting for what we think should be ours. But no one is backing down.

"You admit. I am a threat to your relationship with Andrea. Because I have know her forever. I grew up with her. I was her first boyfriend. Her first love. And she still loves me. She only with you out of pity," I said walking near him. I grab him and throw him on the grass.

"I was her first fuck. She's having my child. And the minute you two broke up, she was back with me," Philip grinned.

I started punching him in the face over and over. I see blood coming from his nose. Suddenly Philip overpowers me. He throws me down on the grass, and his hands are wrapped around my neck. He is choking me. I am losing air. Would he actually kill me outside in plain sight? I wasn't going to wait, and find out.

"Look, I am tried of these games. Andrea, made her choice. She's mine. That baby is mine. And there is no room for you in her life anymore. You had your chance. It's my turn," He said moving his hand closer on my neck. He let go and went back after him.

"You're unstable, a stalker, and I did a background check on you. I found out at your last job you were fired for sexual harassment. I wonder if I found a Maggie Greene, what would she say about you? What would she tell Andrea?" I said grinning.

"Fucking asshole. I am not losing Andrea or that baby. Especially, not to some cop with a power trip. I know what type of man you are," Philip yelled.

"No. I know what type of man you are. It's not good. Do Andrea a favor and stay away from her. And the baby too," I said heading back to my car.

"You stay away Shane. And keep your mouth shut. Let Andrea decided for herself," Philip said walking after me. I drove away. _I knew I had scared him. But I wouldn't have to use the information about Maggie to get Andrea back. No, Andrea would see Philip for who he was without me saying anything. _

36\. Time

Telling Shane I needed time was hard. But telling Philip would be impossible, I thought as I drove over to his house. My tummy was starting to stick out just a little bit so I decided to wear this white sundress. None of my jeans were going to fit soon, I thought sadly. I unlocked Philip's door with the key he gave me and saw him laying on the sofa. He had been in a fight and even had a black eye.

"What happened?"

"Shane," Philip said as I walked over.

"You two have to stop these childish fights. It's not going impact who I choose," I said taking Philip's hand.

"Your kidding? He came over here with intentions of hurting me. Andrea, this Shane is dangerous. I get that he was your first love, but he is not the person you used to date. He is crazy."

" This coming from the guy who goes through my phone, and follows me around in his car," I said looking into his light brown eyes. _Looking in his eyes I see passion and lust. Philip loves me, and loves this baby. He wants a family. To replace the family he lost. Another child to love. He had a daughter name Penny, but he never talks about her._

"I did that to protect you Andrea. This Shane is dangerous. I don't want him around you or our baby," Philip said harshly.

"About that. I know I said we were going to be together now, but things have changed," I said softly.

"What has changed?"

"You lied to me. I know you texted Shane for me. Why would you do that?"

"Because I knew you leave me if I didn't. Tell me it's not true," Philip said his hand touching my face.

"I don't know. I wish you could be honest with me. I do care about. You're easy to be with, and I always have fun when we're together," I said suddenly feeling overcome with desire. _Just touch of his hand made me come undone. Get it together, I told myself._

"See let go of the past. Start a life with me," Philip whispered.

"But you can't trust me. How can we have a relationship with no trust? And I don't like the fact you went through my phone."

"I won't do it again. Don't leave me. I can't lose you, Andrea," Philip pleaded with me.

"This isn't about you. Or Shane. This is about me. I have decided who is best for me," I said.

"So what are you planning on doing?"

"I am telling you like I told Shane. I care a lot about you both. I mean I known Shane my whole life, and I have always loved him. He knows me so well. But then there is you. You have brought something in my life I never expected. Everyday with you is an adventure. And the sex is amazing. The relationships are both so different. I don't want to go back and forth. I have to make up my mind and stick with it," I said looking into his eyes.

"So what are you saying?"

"I need a little time," I replied.

"For what?"

"To make up my mind."

"Okay."

"You mean it?"

"Yes. Because honestly you admitted already I am the one you want. Shane's comfortable like a security blanket, but you said so yourself I more fun to be with. Deep down you know it's over with Shane. Once you have had some time to think it over I know you realize I the right one. Shane's not going challenge you like I will. He does not love you like I do. And that's our baby. We're a family," Philip whispered.

"Why did you go through my phone?"

"I didn't want him coming between us," Philip said grabbing me by the arm. He then wraps his arms around me, and I find myself running my fingers through his hair. He grabs my chin, and kisses me forcefully. I find myself getting wet down in my pants.

"How in the hell do you turn me on instantly? What is this power you hold over me?"

"You love me," Philip whispered. Maybe, I did. I wanted him for sure.

"I want you," I admitted.

"I aim to please," Philip said removing his belt. I watched as he unzips them, and removes the rest of his clothes. I lay down on the sofa, and remove my panties. Philip smiles as he walks over to me. He grabs my legs and starts thrusting himself deeply into me. He pushes harder and harder. I look into his light brown eyes that are glowing with possessiveness. _He is sending me a message that I am his, and for the moment he is right._

I close my eyes as pushes himself more deeply inside me. He is so forceful, and so in control. I love it. I came over to tell him I needed more time, and this is what happens. What was this power he had over me? Philip moves harder and even faster. I enjoy every movement. He pushes into me one more time as he climaxes.

"Wow," I said laying in his arms.

"You still love that," Philip breathes.

"Yes, too much," I admitted.

"You are going to be so sore," Philip said softly.

"Maybe, a little," I smiled.

"Would you like to get something to eat?"

"Actually, I should probably get going," I said knowing what I said did was wrong. I had given Philip false hope.

"Stay," He begged.

"Allright. It's getting pretty late," I said laying back down on the sofa with him.

"Good girl," He whispered as I fell back into his arms. _Had I made my choice now? Was it Philip? Would I ever get a chance to really think this decision out? I had time, I thought closing my eyes._


	32. Chapter 32

**36\. Guilty**

_Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go._  
_Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo._  
_And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you_

_I'll be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself._  
_And I'll be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell._

**_\- Maroon 5_**

I woke up beside Philip the next morning in bed, and I knew it was wrong_. Kissing Shane was bad enough, but how could I make my mind if I was still hooking up with both guys ?_ No, more sex until you choose between the two, I told myself. I looked over at Philip, and he looked so beautiful while sleeping. Why could Philip not be honest with me? Why the mind games? How did Philip keep pulling me in_? __I knew deep down he was not someone I could trust, but Shane was someone I could count on. I loved Shane. Those feelings wouldn't just go away. I never love anyone the way I did Shane, I admitted to myself. But there was something here going on with Philip I could not explain. I couldn't turn those feelings of either. The bond I had because of our baby, I thought. _

I got out of the bed. Maybe, I could leave before Philip woke up. Then I go home and really think things through. If there would only be a sign from the universal on what I should do. I got out of bed and picked up my clothes. I started to get dress when I saw Philip opening his eyes.

"You aren't leaving, are you?"

"Yeah, I have to sort this all out," I admitted.

"I thought we worked everything out last night," Philip said getting out of the bed. He wrapped his arms around me, and started to pull me back to bed.

"I can't stay. I need some time to think. Please keep your word this time. I need space," I getting dressed.

"Please don't go," Philip said his brown eyes shinning.

"I have to decide. And I can't do that here," I said unable to look into his eyes.

"Do you want to hurt me? Was that your intentions from the first time we meet?"

"No, I just wanted to have a one night stand. I never thought I wouldn't be able to quit you. And I had no idea you fall in love with me," I said feeling more guilty.

"You're easy to love. And if you pick Shane this time I'll respect it. No more games," Philip brown are burning.

"I am glad you are being mature about this," I said.

"Just take your time, and don't let anyone influence your decision," Philip whispered holding me close.

"I won't. I'll choose who is right for me," I answered.

"It's me. You and the baby belong here. This is your home now," he says half smiling.

"Good-bye, Philip," I said.

"I love you, Andrea. Good-bye," He whispers kissing my lips softly. I pull my lips away from his slowly. Looking into those eyes I see pain. _And I knew no matter what happened I would end up hurting someone I cared about. This is a no win situation, I thought. Not to mention the baby I was carrying. Would this ever would out? I walked to my car Philip's eyes still following me._


	33. Chapter 33

**38\. Her Choice**

_Andrea was in my dreams all night. I got lost thinking about her blonde curls, and bright blue eyes. Her sweet voice was in my head. The kiss the other night proved she belonged to me. Baby or no baby I was going to marry Andrea. I looked at my cell phone, and thought about calling her. No, I wait for her. It wouldn't be long now, I thought. I was going to the kitchen to get some breakfast when there was a knock at the door. Was she here already? I opened the door, and saw it was Philip._

"What the hell?"

"I am here about Andrea," Philip said forcefully.

"She isn't here," I answered. I wanted nothing more than but to punch this son of birth in the face.

"I know. Andrea, just left my house. Stayed all night enjoying my company," Philip smirked.

"I know about your extra activities. Andrea has told me the relationship you shared. She said what you are good for. I am sure she wanted one last fuck to get you out of her system," I said bothered. **_How could Andrea let this asshole touch her again?_ **

"She is never going to get me out of her system. She loves me, and she is starting to realize that now. She's out grown you. You're too late," Philip said wickedly.

"If you are here asking me to walk away again. Save your breath, asshole. I am not letting Andrea settle for anything less than she deserves. I am better for her than you. I am not backing down," I said looking him straight in the eyes.

"I am here to ask you to leave Andrea alone for a few days. Can we agree on that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Andrea, says she needs to time to decide between two of us. Let's just give her some space. And let her think about whether she wants to be with her family or you," Philip said quietly.

"I can agree upon that," I said staring him in straight the eyes.

"So you aren't going to run to her apartment and tell her I what a psycho I am? You are going to let her make her own mind?"

"Yes. But Andrea loves me and I know it. If you give her time then I will too. But I find out your over there I will be too," I said loudly.

"I'll keep my word. But no matter what happens that is my baby. You can't change that. I hate seeing you wasting your time. Once the baby gets here everything will change," Philip said walking away. I hate that asshole, I thought.

"I'll give Andrea some time. However, I am not letting her walk away with you. She's my future wife, and whatever games you pull won't change that."

"Games? You are the one who fucked everything up by moving here. Following Andrea around like a sick puppy. She was happy with me until you came along," Philip said.

"If Andrea asks me to back off I will," I said.

"She will this is her choice. Let her make," Philip replied.

"I will. But you saw how it worked out the last time," I smirked.

He comes at me as if he going to push me against the wall. If you want to fight again, I'll kick your ass another time. This time he walks away. I am sure Andrea got on to him about our last fight, but I know he'll be back. And I'll kick your ass again, I thought.

Lying to Philip wasn't hard. I was NOT going to Andrea's house right, but I had reinforcements on the way, and I knew they would be on my side not his. Besides, he was the one starting the mind games. I was giving Andrea a push in the right direction.

**39\. Amy**

_Leaving behind Philip and Shane was difficult to say the least. I did not need a man, but I enjoyed having someone to talk too. I honestly miss Shane living with me. So when I get to my front door and saw Amy waiting I was pleasantly surprised!_

"Sister, how did you get here?"

"Shane brought me an airplane ticket yesterday. I flew in to surprise you."

"Well, you sure did. I am so happy to have you here. I can't believe he did that," I said overtaken with his thoughtfulness.

"Shane loves you. Always has. Always will. You two should get married already," Amy said grinning at me. She has always been a Shane support, I thought.

"If things were only simple like they were in high school," I said unlocking the door. The idea of having my teenage sister spend the weekend with me was exciting. We hardly ever get to see each other, and I still needed to tell her about the baby. How could have not told her already? Some things could not be said over the phone, I reasoned with myself. Only Shane would know I needed my sister at a time like this, I thought. He knew actually want I needed.

"Things might be more difficult now, but I know your feelings for Shane haven't changed," Amy said putting down her suitcase.

"You're right. My feelings haven't changed, but I found someone else. His name is Philip, and I'll have to explain everything to you," I said warily.

"No one can help you figure out better what path to take than your sister. How about I change clothes and we can go something to eat? You look so pale, and I think some food will help. Then you can tell me all about everything that is going on," She said pulling me into a hug.

"When did you start taking care of me?"

"Just because your older, does not mean I can't help you when you are troubled. That's what sisters are for. Even big sisters who are beautiful lawyers need help," Amy teased.

" Well, I know you are partial to Shane, but you are the person I need to talk to. There is no one like a sister," I said as walk through the apartment.

This time with my sister was just what I needed. I could tell her the story, and she help me see things more clearly. Talking to one of friends wouldn't have helped because if I said anything about giving Philip another chance they throw me in the nearest mental hospital. But Amy would listen before making judgments. Thank you, Shane I thought.


	34. Chapter 34

**40\. Dinner**

Amy and I decided to try a new Chinese restaurant in town. Having her near me felt right. I needed to make more time for my sister, I thought as we sat down at a table.

"So what is the trouble? Why did you and Shane break up this time?"

"I kissed my ex," I replied taking a drink of my water.

"Why? I mean what made you decide to do that?"

"Well, I was emotional. I am pregnant," I admitted.

"Andrea? I thought you hadn't even had sex. You said you were waiting," Amy said picking up her fork. She was disappointed, and I could not blame her.

"I was but that was before Philip," I admitted.

"And he is the new guy?"

"Yeah, my feelings for him are complicated ," I said blushing. _Even saying his name made me flush._

"Tell me about these feelings," She said softly.

"I don't. The moment I saw him I was smitten. He is very handsome, and always tries to take of me. But the problem is," I started to say.

"You don't need someone to take care of. You are a strong woman," Amy said finishing my sentence.

"I know, and it's not like that with Shane. He encourages me to defend myself. He has even started teaching me how to shot a gun. Shane makes me feel powerful, but Philip wants to keep me in the dark," I replied looking down at the egg roll on plate. _Chinese food and pregnancy don't mixed, I decided._

"You seem like you have already decided you want Shane," Amy insisted.

"I want them both. But I have to choose one. The fact that Philip's is this baby does not help," I admitted.

"You can't stay with Philip for the baby. It wouldn't be fair to Philip, the baby, or you," Amy said wisely.

"I know, but I am fond of Philip. If could he only keep his emotions in check. He loses control so often, and he does things that make people uncomfortable," I whispered not wanting anyone in the restaurant to hear me.

"What does he do?"

"Well, he shows up at Shane's house sometimes. Telling him to stay away from me."

"I can understand that since you are pregnant with his child," Amy said apprehensive.

"He followed me one day to the grocery store because I was with this guy Daryl. We were getting things for an event at church," I said looking at the floor.

"So he just showed up?"

"Yeah."

"That's a little much," Amy replied.

"I know there are other things he has done too. He can a bit intense," I said.

"Sounds like a stalker, Andrea," Amy said taking my hand.

"He cares too much. He can be obsessive."

"Honestly, it does not sound like a healthy relationship at all," Amy replied looking at me with those blue eyes.

"It is not normal, but that just the way Philip is. He is overbearing and bossy. He wants to control everything. Especially me. I never know what he'll do next. He is impulsive, and disarming all at the same time. And sometimes that attention it can be flattering. I know it does not make any sense. But I can't quit him. Philip is like my own personal drug. "

"Andrea, you are getting into deep with this guy. Michonne, Carol, and all your other friends I have talked to express concerns about him. They all love you, and are afraid that Philip is trouble," Amy said looking into my eyes.

"I know," I said pushing my plate away. I had barely ate anything.

"You are friends with these people for a reason. I know you trust their judgment," Amy said picking up her fortune cookie.

"I do. But at the end of the day I have to choose."

"Well, if you don't make up your mind soon you could lose Shane forever," Amy warned.

"I know," I said taking a deep breathe. I paid for our dinner and we walked to the car.

"I think it's really cool I am going to be an Aunt," Amy said smiling.

"I am glad you think so," I said touching my tummy. Ten weeks I was barely showing.

"Only wish you told me sooner. And no matter who you end up with I'll support you. You'll going to be a great mom," Amy smiled as we got in the car. _My sister always knew the right thing to say to make me feel better, I thought._


	35. Chapter 35

**41\. Decisions**

_Staying up all night talking to my sister gave me clarity. She had brought some of my old scrapbooks from home. Inside were pictures of Shane and I throughout the years. Some from when we were four all the way up to senior prom. Also I saw pictures of Lori and Rick. I missed the old group, I thought. Although I still talked to them it was not the same as actually seeing them. They had a son name Carl, now I never even saw in person. I should go visit them I thought. Looking all these pictures reminded how much a part of my life Shane was. How his family had been mine. And how lonely I was the last seven years without him. Could I ever have this type of history with Philip? Should I even consider being with Philip after his behavior over the last few months? Amy did not think so, and what my sister said mattered. Although it would mean more if actually meant Philip, I thought. Still, Amy had made a point. I did trust my friends, and they would not pick on Philip for no reason. They did not trust Philip, and I didn't either. I close my eyes trying to decide what to do. Should I stay with the boy I had always loved, or move on with the man who control my desires? The man I was having a baby with? Why could my life not be easier? Would there ever be a point where I did not have to make difficult decisions?_

I closed my eyes, knowing I would dream about Shane and Philip.

"Morning," Amy said bringing me a plate full of pancakes with strawberries.

"Thank you," I said smiling at my sister.

"I figured you and baby would be hungry," She said.

"Always. Baby E is a hand of full," I said taking a bite out the pancake.

"Baby E?"

"Shane and I picked out the name Emily if it's a girl. But since I don't know yet I call it baby E."

"What if it's a boy?"

"Undecided on a name, but there are plenty that start with E. Like Evan, Ephram, and Erik. I still have time if it's a boy," I said drinking some milk.

"When will you find out?"

"I am not going too," I smiled.

"You're going to wait?"

"Yes. Until he or she is born."

"Wow. I don't think I could do that," Amy said.

"I am certain it's a girl," I said touching my tummy.

"I can't wait to find out. I am going to spoil my niece or nephew," Amy said pulling her blonde hair out of her face.

"This baby is going to be completely spoiled. I just need to tell mom and dad," I said looking at my tummy.

"You should tell them today," Amy beamed.

"Well, I was going to tell them on next visit," I answered her.

"I have a surprise for you. Shane brought you a plane ticket home," Amy said showing me the ticket.

"He really did?" I said shocked looking at the plane ticket.

"You have to come home with me, Andrea," Amy pleaded.

"I don't know Amy. I have a lot of work to do, and I supposed to meet up with Philip on Monday," I said.

"It's only Saturday. Come home for the weekend. See mom and dad. We can go visit Lori and the new baby. Please," Amy begged.

"Okay. Just let me get my suitcase," I said smiling at her. Going back home, I thought. _What would that be like? I knew the memories I have of Shane would be overwhelming. That's why he brought this plane ticket. He wants me to remember all of our times together, I thought. He wants me to remember he is my first love, and how good we are together. As if I could ever forget? _


	36. Chapter 36

**42\. Unfair**

_I was trying to do what was right, and give Andrea her space. I wanted her to realize she loved me, and that Shane should be left in the past. Still, I needed to watch her. Too make sure she was safe. And to see what she was up too. Her sister was staying with her. I recognized her from pictures. Everything seemed fine until I followed them to the airport. Andrea did not come back. She went on the airplane with her sister. Where were they going? Back to Florida? I drove around the airport parking lot, and sure enough Shane's vehicle was there. Was he was taking Andrea somewhere? _

No, she left with her sister. Shane was going to meet her. I remember looking through Andrea's text messages and seeing the two had been planning to get married there. Was Shane planning on doing what I thought? Andrea wouldn't or would she? I had to get on the first flight to Florida to try to stop this. I should have known better to think Shane would play fair.

43\. Surprises

"So I have to tell you something," Amy said when we got back home.

"What?"

"Shane begged me to bring you back here, and he is in town too. I am sorry. I know you needed to space, but he really loves you. I just thought the whole thing was so romantic."

"I love Shane. And I am glad you brought here. My eyes are open now," I said.

"So you still want to marry Shane?"

"Yes. I mean Philip and I have a lot of fun together. We go on these crazy adventures, and we have amazing chemistry. But when I think about having a family my mind always comes to Shane. I want to raise this baby with Shane helping me. And I want us to have kids of our own," I said looking up at my sister with a smile.

" I am so happy you said that," Amy said leaving me alone in my old bedroom. My parents had left it exactly the same. I was laying on the bed when Shane walked in the room. How many times had he came over my house? Yet, this time it felt different. Because I knew now that it was either the end or the beginning of our relationship. I knew what was coming.

"Andrea," Shane said laying on the bed with me.

"Shane, I have been waiting here for you," I said taking his hand.

"How did you know?"

"Amy can't keep a secret."

"She tell you everything?"

"Only that you are planned on bringing me here," I whispered._Having Shane near reassured me I was right. My heart could only belong to Shane. I loved Philip, but it wasn't the same way. There was no going back now. My choice was Shane. _

"You aren't mad are you?"

"No. I love your romantic gesture of bringing me here," I said looking deeply into his dark brown eyes.

"Good. Then I have one question," He said grinning and getting down on knee.

"Yes," I replied before he had the chance to say anything.

"Let me asked the question first. Andrea, will you marry me today in our hometown with all our friends and family?"

"Today?"

"Yes, I have everything ready if you want to marry me today. I don't want to wait another day, and I can't think of reason too," he whispers, and I know I cannot resist him.

"I agree. I don't want to wait either. We have lost so much time," I said tears coming down streaming down my face. I could not believe how happy I was. All my doubts were gone. _Today is my wedding day._

"We won't lose a minute more. Amy and your mom are going to come back. They will help you get dressed. I'll see you at the church," Shane said kissing my lips quickly.

Shane got the church, and invited all our friends? I was impressed by his efforts. How would Philip react when I came back married? Don't think about Philip today. Today is about you and Shane. You can deal with Philip later. You can make understand. Three of you will raise this baby as planned. Philip will find someone else. Shane is meant for you, I thought as I put my engagement ring back on. Even though I told it off I brought it with me to Florida. Because, I had a feeling Shane had planned this. My mom and sister came into my room carrying a simple white dress.

"This will look beautiful on you," my mom says smiling. Amy helps me step into the dress, and zips the back. I look in the mirror feeling beautiful.

"We're going to go change," They both said at the same time. I smile knowing they will come back to help me with the last touches. I look and see Amy has makeup set out for me with a curling iron. I apply foundation, lipstick, blush, and light pink eye shadow. I start curling my hair, and I enjoying this time alone. In a few minutes I'll finally be Mrs. Shane Walsh.

For the moment I was completely happy, but that moment does not last. I look over my shoulder, and I see Philip there looking over at me_. How did he find me? What the hell is he doing here?_

**44\. You love**

"How did you know?"

"I figured it out. Your dad let me in. He has no idea who I am," Philip replies.

"My parents don't even know about the baby, yet," I said looking into his brown eyes.

"You should tell them today, and introduce them to me," Philip answers walking behind me. He runs his hand up and down my arm. I start to tremble. I am shocked that he is here.

"That's not happening today. You are going to leave," I said moving away from him.

"No, not until you admit you are in love with me," Philip said.

"I do love you," I whisper avoiding his eyes.

"But here you are in a wedding dress getting ready to marry Shane? Explain that to me?"

"I love you because you're the father of my baby. And there is a part of me that really thought we could work."

"We can work. Don't marry him. I know that this isn't what you want. You won't be happy being a cop's wife. You want 'll be bored. Leave with me today. So we can be a family with our baby," Philip pleaded.

"I don't want more. Shane is exactly what I want. I am so sorry I hurt you, but this my final decision. This is what I am choosing. Shane is the man that I choose," I said loudly.

"No," he snaps.

"Please, understand I love Shane more than you.I wish I didn't, but I do."

"I can't change your mind?"

"No, not this time. I am not going to let myself get confused when you're here," I said firmly.

"It won't last. You're think about me, and once the baby is born it's only matter time before we're all together," Philip whispers in my ear.

"I made my choice," I said looking into his eyes.

" You have chosen wrong. You feel obligated to Shane. But you desire me. You won't be able to live your life by denying your own feelings," he breathes, his hands touching my face.

"I am sorry, but you have to go," I said moving away from him.

"I love you, and I won't give up. Married or not," Philip says giving me one last look. I see a sadness in his eyes. _There is part of that wants to comfort him, but I stop myself. I say nothing, but watch as Philip leaves. I made the right choice. He will understand in time. Somehow I can make everything all right._


	37. Chapter 37

**45\. Out of control**

_Andrea went back to Shane. I should have known it was too good to be true, I though angrily. She promised to give us another chance, and a week later she was running back into his arms. Now Andrea was marrying him._

All my plans to keep them apart had backfired. Instead of canceling the wedding they were moving it up. My Andrea was marrying that fucking asshole today. So much for Shane giving her space. I was waiting for my cell phone to ring, and he was planning a wedding. He didn't plan fair, I thought.

There was no way around it now. Shane had to die, and I was going to have to make sure that happened.

I found Andrea at the bar that night. _I picked her to be my wife, and I made sure I got her pregnant. None of this was left up to chance, and I be damned if some fucking cop ruined everything I worked so hard for. _

I lost my wife and daughter in a car accident. I remember the day it happened. I was at work, and my wife called my cell phone. I couldn't answer the phone. She did not leave a voicemail, and the question was always in my head what did she want? I'll never know. And after I lost my family I thought I never move on. Figured, I die of a broken heart.

Still, somehow I was able to pick up the pieces. I got new a job, and brought a new house. Started going out again, and then I saw Andrea. I was hooked the moment I saw her. I knew I had to have her. With one look I knew she was not only attractive but vulnerable. Her innocence and openness made her irresistible to me. I promised myself I wouldn't lose her. I had her right were I wanted her then Shane came into the picture. Now I was losing Andrea and my baby. There was nothing I could do to stop the wedding, and I felt completely out of control.

I got in an airplane chasing Andrea to stop this wedding from happening. It did me no good. She was marrying Shane today. I didn't have enough time with Andrea, I thought . If I had only a few more minutes. Now was out of control of the situation. But only for the moment. Andrea would return to me, I thought getting on the airplane to fly home. I relaxed on the plane ride home. I dreamed of Andrea's soft skin, blonde curls, and angelic face.

"You're be home soon, Andrea," I said softly looking a picture I had of her in my wallet.


	38. Chapter 38

**46\. Wedding day**

_Damn, Philip what right did he have to make me question my feelings for Shane? He saw I was in a wedding dress. Could he not just leave it alone? Well, I had told him I give us another chance, and I was having his baby. Still, I had always been honest with him. Philip knew how I felt about Shane. That wasn't going to go away. My love for Shane could never stop, I thought. Marrying Shane was the right choice for me. Philip would have to get over it. Suddenly there was another knock on the door. Please don't let it be Philip again, I thought walking toward the door. If it wasn't Philip, who could it be?_

_It had to be Philip, I thought annoyed. But it was not Philip. It was Rick! I wrapped my arms around him._

"Rick. This is pure magic," I said softly. I had missed my dear friend more than I realized.

"Andrea, you look beautiful," Rick said dressed in his tux. _Of course, he would be the best man I though smiling._

"Thank you. Rick, I've missed you," I said glowing._ I was a happy, beautiful bride today._

"We've all missed you Andrea. I am so happy that you and Shane are finally getting married. You're good for him. He was so lost without you. I mean Shane was going around dating any girl and getting into trouble," Rick said looking at me with his blue-green eyes.

"I was lost without him. If I had it do over again I would have never moved away," I said taking Rick's hand.

_All the memories I had of my boys were coming back to me. I could see Rick, Shane, and I riding our bikes together around the neighborhood. I remembered us sneaking out to see Star Wars in the movie theatre. And prom night felt like yesterday. How could I lose touch with people I care about so much? How could I go seven years without talking to them?_

"You can't change the past. You have to move forward, and I am here to take you to the church. If that's what you want," Rick said looking at me closely.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw the other guy, and I heard what was said," Rick admitted.

"You were spying?"

"It's not like that Andrea. I am worried about Shane if he loses you again. You didn't see how bad he was the first time," Rick said concerned.

"He is not going to lose me. I am marrying Shane today. You know I've always loved him," I promised Rick.

"I love Shane like a brother. I have to watch out for him. If you are going to end up leaving him later do it now. So airport or church?"

"Take me to the church," I said determined. _I had a moment of weakness with Philip, but that was all it was. Just a moment._

Rick nods in agreement, and we join the rest of my family downstairs. Everyone is smiling. Today I am finally marring Shane. Amy and I ride to the church with Rick.

"Any doubts?" Amy asked.

"No, I know my heart is with Shane," I smile at my sister.

"I hope someday I find a guy like him. Putting this wedding together for you is so romantic," Amy beams.

"I am a lucky girl," I admitted.

I look around at the church. There are purple and white roses everywhere. There is music playing,a photography is there, and there is no detail Shane missed. He had pulled out all the stops to give me my dream wedding not knowing if I say yes. He took a gamble, and it paid off.

"Andrea, it's time," My dad whispered. I smile at my dad, taking his hand. Amy walks down the aisle first with Rick. I look at my sister wearing a silk lavender bridesmaid dress. Her blonde hair is falling in her face,. She is so beautiful, I think to myself.

I look over seeing Shane standing there. He looks perfect in his tux. _No doubts in my mind now . _I take my father's hand, and walk toward Shane. I am walking toward my future.

**No more canceled weddings. No more lies. No more cheating. No more meeting guys at bars. Just Shane and I together forever, I think smiling.** I love you, Shane whispers to me as our eyes meet.

_I know now that there could be no other ending then this one. Some people are just meant to be together. Soul mates. That's what Shane and I are_.


	39. Chapter 39

**47\. Honeymoon**

_Andrea is standing in front of me. She is wearing the simple silk white dress I picked out for her. A girl of her beauty does not a dress that would take attention from her. Her blonde hair is falling in curls with a few pieces pulled back with white flower. She is the perfect bride, and I am so glad she is mine. No one keep us part. Philip tried and failed. Andrea is going to be my wife. He'll have to leave us alone now._

"I do," Andrea says looking at me with her big blue eyes. She slides a silver wedding band on my finger.

I say the vows back to Andrea, and put on her wedding band on. She is my beautiful bride, I think.

"Shane, you may finally kiss the bride," The preacher says grinning.

I take my hands placing them in Andrea's blonde hair. She moves closer to me looking up. Our lips meet, and I forget there is anyone else in the room. Her kiss is sweet and warm. I can feel her body pressing against mine. She slowly pulls away.

"I love you, Mrs. Walsh," I whisper into Andrea's ear.

"I love you Mr. Walsh," She said eyes bright and cheeks flushed. I take her hand as we get ready to drive to the reception. Andrea smiles at me the whole way there.

"I can't believe you put all this together for me. Having my sister help you. And it's all so romantic," Andrea said as we get out of the car.

"I had to show you how much you mean to me. I needed a romantic gesture. I couldn't lose you to him or anyone else."

"You won't lose me. I am yours," Andrea says taking my hand. We walk inside the hotel to the Banquet Hall. Inside we see a lot of friends and family members. There is a huge sign saying Shane and Andrea finally married. We look at each and laugh. I _knew it would be a joyful night. We eat cake, dance, and Rick would make toast. I was excited about all of it. But looking at Andrea in that low-cut dress all I could think about was the honeymoon. We would be leaving as soon as possible, I thought smiling. _

**Author notes: Thank you much for reading Weekend Lover. I hope you are enjoying it! I know it might be a little messy because I stopped writing it, and now I am starting back again. It's going to be dark, but I wanted to add some happy parts for Shane and Andrea. Because in this story they are soul mates. Please let me know what you think! Thank you. **


	40. Chapter 40

**49\. Honeymoon and confessions**

_The wedding and reception were over. Everything was beautiful, and it felt like old times. I didn't want to go home, but I had to. Being close to old friends and family made be question why I had left in the first place. I should have stayed here with Shane. Philip was right at one point in my life I wanted more than to be a cop's wife. I wanted to left this place behind. I wanted to be a big shot lawyer. Maybe even go into politics. I had such big dreams. Now all I wanted was to be Shane's wife. And have his babies._

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just thinking I wish we didn't have to go home," I smile looking those dark eyes.

"We aren't flying back until tomorrow," Shane smiled.

"So where are staying?"

"I got us a room. I figured we could use a night alone. Sorry, it's not a real honeymoon," Shane said feeling guilty_. I knew he was thinking about how Philip having a better paying job than him. And all the out-of-town trips he took me on. I hated that Shane had the need to compare himself to Philip. I chosen him._

"It's perfect. You and me alone is all I need. Besides when we move to California, it will be like vacating everyday," I said taking his hand.

"I can't wait," Shane said taking my hand.

Shane was only half-smiling and I knew something was on his mind. Was he regretting marrying me already?

"You're in deep thought too," I said touching his leg.

"All I could think of all night was how much I wanted to fuck you," Shane admitted.

"But now?"

"I am wondering how I measure up. I know it's stupid ass thing to wonder, but I knew you couldn't get enough of Philip. I am thinking maybe it's because I bore you in bed," Shane said feeling hurt.

"It's not like that. You two are different. I love the way we make love," I said touching his face.

"But what is it like with Philip?"

Why was Shane doing this to me? Today of all days? I mean, I never asked him what Stephanie was like in bed.

"I never made love with Philip. It was all fucking. Most of the time he is rough. Throwing me around like a rag doll, pulling my hair, and biting my lip," I admitted.

"So he treats you like a slut?"

"Yes, it is very intense. I am ashamed to admit I love it," I said. Now Shane knew about my dirty secret.

"What all did you two do?"

"He tie me down to the bed, gag me sometimes, and blind fold me. We'd take dirty pictures of each other. We got crazy. It's my dirty secret," I said looking up at him.

"Andrea, I can fuck hard if that's what you like. Honestly, I never figured you'd be into that sort of thing," Shane says. I place my hand in between his legs feeling how hard he is for me now.

"I wouldn't have either, but I am."

"I am going to take you to the hotel room, and fuck you so hard. You will never think of that asshole again. No one does rough sex like me," Shane said pressing his lips forcefully against mine. We leave the banquet hall, and hurry upstairs to our room. Once in the room Shane quickly unzips my dress. He unhooks my bra, and slides of my white lace panties. His hands are under my boobs and he pressing his body against mine. I feel how hard is for me. How much he wants me. I am already wet for him.

"Get on the bed," Shane commands me. No questions asked I get on the bed. His hands run up and down my leg. Now, his head is in between my legs. I felt his tongue moving quickly inside me. I grab his dark hair and as moves closer inside me.

"Oh Shane," I moan as I feel myself getting close. He is moving that tongue so damn fast.

"You are mine. My wife," Shane said when he pulls his tongue out from inside of me. I say nothing, but smile. He licks his lips that are covered my juices. I watch him taking of his clothes. His ejection for me is so big.

"Suck," Shane says moving in my face. I open my mouth and place his dick in my mouth. Shane grabs my hair moving my mouth deeper inside him. I have him all the way inside me and I can taste his pre-come.

"Oh baby…you are about to make me come," Shane moans. He touches my neck softly letting me know it's time to stop. He moves lays me down on my stomach. His hands are on my ass, and he thrusts himself inside me. I look at him. His dark eyes are glowing , his muscular body relaxed, and he moving deeper inside me.

"You like that dirty girl?"

_My body is overcome with physical pleasure, and I am in mental ecstasy. I love feeling helpless on my knees. Shane is in control. He is moving my body forcefully. One of his hands is covering my mouth gagging me, while the other is grabbing a pillow_.

"Say you like me fucking you," Shane said pushing harder.

"I love you fucking me," I whisper through his hand. Suddenly he is filling me up with his come.

"That was amazing," Shane said falling on the bed. Both of our hearts are beating fast, and we are breathless.

"I love you," I tell him falling into his arms. Shane says nothing but runs his fingers through my blonde hair. We are covered in each other's sweat, and are more in love than ever. I rest my head on his chest listening to his heart beating.

**50\. Infatuation**

_People forget that someone else's happiness may cause someone else's pain. Andrea and Shane were glowing in the newlywed bliss._ I knew because I was looking at the pictures Andrea had posted on Facebook. The smiles on their faces made me want to puke.

How could Andrea do this to me? She was carrying my baby, and if she was marrying anyone it should be me. She belonged with me.

I poured myself another glass of whiskey staring at the pictures of them together. They looked like Barbie and Ken doll, I thought pissed off. I took a big drink of the whiskey waiting for the picture of Andrea to print out. I picked up the image from the printer. God, she was so beautiful. I had to have her, I thought staring at her picture smiling back at me. The images of Andrea and Shane on the computer screen haunted me. Shane seem to yelling at me. I could hear him telling me I was loser. And my father was right about me. _You've had too much to drink, I tell myself. Shane does not even know your father._ Still, I pour another drink, and continue to look all the wedding images. Why was Shane yelling at me? Too much too drink.

"I am not a loser. I have worked my ass off! I have a new house, and a management job. I make more money then you. And Andrea is having my baby asshole. That is my baby not yours," I yell at my computer. Shane's picture does not answer me of course. But I stare at the image of Shane and Andrea looking back at me. I can't handle it_. Losing Andrea is another reminder of what a failure I am. I pick up my computer screen, and throw it across the room. _FUCK THEM. Shane and Andrea, will have hell to pay. I pick up the computer screen throw it again harder against the wall. I take another drink of a whiskey, and decide to go to bed. I am not a loser, and they would be sorry. Enjoy your happiness while it last Andrea, I think ripping up her picture.

**AN: That's the end of part two! I hope you are looking forward to part three!**


	41. Chapter 41

**PART III**

**51\. QUIET**

_Shane and I returned to Alabama as husband and wife. As much as I wanted to stay in Florida it wasn't possible. Shane and I both had jobs to get back too. I figured Philip would be at my door as soon we returned. I was surprised when days went by and I heard nothing. Days turn into weeks and weeks into months._

"I don't understand," I said looking at Shane.

"You don't miss him do you?"

"No, but Philip went with me to my doctor appointments. Now he has stopped. And I don't understand."

"Maybe, he has decided to allow us to raise the baby," Shane said hopeful.

"I wish. My gut tells me that is not the case," I said in a small voice.

"Well, don't call him That's asking for trouble," Shane warned me.

"I am going have to deal with this Shane. My due date is getting closer and closer. I rather know what is going through Philip's head now then to be surprised when the baby gets here," I said touching Shane's arm.

"You think he is going to try to get custody of this baby?"

"Yes, but I don't think it's likely to happen. Still, I want to know what is going on through Philip's head," I answered.

"Andrea, I don't want you anywhere near him," Shane pleaded.

"He is still the baby's father. Unless he lets you adopt the baby," I said smiling.

"Do you think he might?"

"I could ask. But no matter what we're still a family," I promised.

"If you must talk to Philip, meet him in a public place," Shane warned.

"I will."

"Are you going to tell him about our plans to move to California?"

"Yes," I said softly.

Shane nodded in approval. He understands this is a conservation that has to take place. As much as we both like to imagine Philip was gone for good, we knew it was not true. This was Philip's baby, and I could not see him walking away from fatherhood. I picked up my phone dialing his number.

"Hello," Philip said.

"Hey, Philip. This Andrea," I whispered.

"I recognized your voice," Philip said.

"I figured. I just have not heard from you in awhile," I said holding the cell phone close to my ear. Shane's eyes were burning into mine watching me while I was on the phone. I _am sorry I was a bad person. I was sorry I had to keep hurting Shane and Philip. But because Philip was the father of my baby I want to keep a friendly relationship up with him. _

"Miss me?"

"Well…we just have some things to discuss. About the baby," I said slowly.

"We have a lot to talk about Andrea," Philip smirks.

"Where should we meet? I think discussing the details in person would be better."

"Oh yeah. Would you like to come over?"

"No…"

"Afraid to be alone with me? Wouldn't be able to control yourself," Philip murmurs.

"No," I breathe heavily.

"I'll meet you at that Mexican restaurant close to your apartment. You know the one?"

"Yes. When?"

"Thirty minutes, but don't bring Shane. I know he is your husband now. There is no way around that," Philip said in a harsh tone.

"I understand," I said in a low voice.

"I'll see you soon, Andrea," Philip said hanging up the phone. I looked up at Shane. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. His hands were running through my blonde hair, and my face was buried in his chest.

"What did he say?"

"I am going to meet him for dinner," I whispered.

Shane opened his mouth, looking unsure of what he was going to say.

"Dinner? You can't be serious? Why not coffee? How can you agree to share a meal with that asshole?"

"He did not give me a lot of choice," I said touching Shane's back.

"I'll go with you," Shane whispered.

"I have to do this alone. But you know that you can trust me," I promised Shane.

"I know," Shane said half-smiling.

I went to get cleaned up to meet Philip. Shane went to the kitchen to get a beer, and set down on the sofa.

"I'll be back soon," I told Shane before I walked out the door.

"Andrea, don't let Philip get to you," Shane warned me.

**52\. Arrangements **

I walked into the restaurant, and I saw Philip setting there at a table close to the bar. He was wearing a dark gray tee shirt and dark Calvin Klein jeans. His brown hair was slick back, and he had a beer glass in his hand.

"Philip," I said walking over to him.

"Andrea, you look," Philip started to say.

"Pregnant. I know…" I said laughing.

"I was going to say beautiful," Philip corrected me.

I took a set across from him. His light brown eyes were burning into mine. I could still see the pain in his eyes. The pain I caused.

"Thank you," I replied.

"I am sorry I haven't been around. I was giving you some space. I know you and Shane needed time alone," Philip says touching my hand across the table.

"Thanks for understanding. I hate I had to bother you," I said looking into his eyes again.

"You are never a bother," Philip said taking another sip of beer_. The waitress came by and took my order. I picked up a chip and took a bite. What was I going to say to Philip? How could I make this work? Some questions had no answers, I thought._

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know that now," Philip said softly. _His hand was still on mine. His emotions were in checked at least for the moment. I never knew what Philip I would get, I thought._

"Good. Now we have to move forward. We have to make arrangements for the baby," I told Philip calmly.

"For my baby," Philip said removing his hand from mine. He was looking at the bottle of his glass.

"Our baby," I corrected him.

"You made a choice, Andrea. You married Shane," Philip said forebodingly.

"I know," I said looking into his eyes.

"Well, how are things going to work now?" _he asks me._

"I am not sure. That's why I am here," I said trying to stay calm.

"I think there are two choices that will work best for everyone," Philip says after ordering another beer from the waitress. She also brings me my water, and I take a long sip trying to prepare myself for what Philip is about to say. I never know what to expect with him.

"What are the choices you propose?" I ask in tone that is supposed to sound calm, but is anything but. _The waitress puts our food on the table leaving us alone._

"Well, you can admit that marrying Shane was a mistake. Come home with me. We'll raise our baby together," Philip says looking at me sweetly.

"I love Shane. I am not leaving him," I said confidently. _Would Philip ever give this up?_

"Well, I think after the baby is born I should raise it ALONE," Philip says taking another drink of beer.

"Without me? Baby E needs a mother," I said.

"How will it work Andrea? I am supposed to turn off my feelings for you? Pretend I don't love you every time I see with our baby? If you aren't going to be with me then I think you should leave our child with me. You know I would love that baby. And please stop calling the baby that stupid nickname. It's a slap in the face to me. How can you pick out baby names with Shane? I am the father."

"Because Shane is my husband," I said calmly. _Philip has raised his voice in the restaurant. Everyone is staring at us. I am embarrassed. _

"Andrea, I just think it would be best for everyone if we didn't have to see each other anymore. I can't control my feelings when I see you. I can't stop wanting to holding you. This is the way it has to be," Philip said looking at me.

"We can find away to raise this baby together. We can find a way," I pleaded.

"I found a way Andrea. You decide," Philip says getting up from the table. He takes a drink from beer, and leaves the money on the table to pay the check. Then he looks past me, and starts walking quickly to the door. I have no choice but to follow him. Moving rather slowly because the weight of stomach is slowly me down. He is getting into his car, and I get in on the other side.

"We need to really talk about this," I said looking at this broken man. _You didn't break him. He was this way before you._

"You are making the decisions today Andrea,"

Philip said his hand forcefully pressed on my face. Suddenly tears started running down my face. For the first time I was afraid of him. He was losing control. What was he capable of? Philip started the car, and was driving too fast. Where was he the hell was he going?

"Leave the man I love, or abandon my child? Those are my old choices?"

"Yes."

"You can't come to any other agreement?"

"No," Philip said pushing his feet harder on the gas. _Where was he going? What was happening? Why did I get in this car?_

"Either way I lose someone I love. That's not fair for me," I said,

"I can only think about myself now," Philip says speeding up his car.

"Slow down. You're going to get us all kill," I said looking over at Philip.

He pulls the car over, and we are in the middle of nowhere. He looks at me with those light brown eyes. He is determined I make this choice. He sees no other way. Could I reason with him?

"You're killing me," Philip yells stopping the car completely. His hand is on my face again. He is touching me. _Staring at my belly._

"I don't want to hurt you. I only want to move forward," I pleaded with him.

"How can we Andrea? How can we move forward when all I want to do is hold you? I want to kiss you? I just can't get you out of my head, and believe me I have tried," Philip said wrapping his arms around me.

"Philip, please try for me. And this baby. This is your baby," I said carefully.

"I don't know how I can keep being around you. Because I am going insane wanting you," Philip said his hand touching my cheek.

"So you want to never see me again?"

"That's the only way I can move on," Philip said plainly.

"I want you to move on. I want you to be happy, Philip," I said my hands touching his face this time.

"Then do this for me. Allow me to raise my child alone, and you can go with your life with Shane," Philip said firmly.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, it's the only way I can survive," Philip answered.

"I can't just give my baby away. If I could make things easier for you I would," I answered.

"You could Andrea. Leave Shane, and come home with me. You can always change your mind," Philip whispered in my ear.

"I can't do that. It would not be fair for Shane to change my mind NOW. Even if I wanted too."

"Andrea, I could not give a shit about what is fair! You know what it is unfair? You telling me that you will try to work out this relationship, but instead you marry Shane over the weekend. That's fucked up," Philip yells getting out of the car.

"Philip, please. I know I was not fair to you," I said following him again.

"Why did you do this today? Why did you meet up with me? Do you enjoy causing me pain?" Philip screams.

"What do you mean? You know we had to talk about the baby," I said.

"That's not why you are here. And you know it," Philip says grabbing my arm.

"Why do you think I am here? What is going on in that head of yours?"

"You missed me. You wanted to keep in touch with me, and you wanted to see how I was. You needed to make sure I still love you incase it does not work out with Shane," Philip said furiously.

"That's not it," I said tears coming to my face.

"You know that it's true," Philip said pulling me closer to him.

"Yes, you are right. It was not all about the baby. I can't stop thinking about you. I wanted to see if you were okay. I was worried about you," I admitted out loud.

"You can't worry about me anymore. You lost the privilege to care about me when you married Shane," Philip yells.

"I can't stop wanting you. I can't get you out of my thoughts either," I said breaking down.

Philip had gotten to me again. He always did. Tears were falling down my face uncontrollably. I had tried so hard to keep everything together, and now I was losing it.

"You have to chose Andrea. I don't want half of your heart. Shane might be happy with half it of. But I want all of you," Philip said with a mad look in his eyes_. _

He pulled closer to him. His arms wrapped around my hips. He was forcefully holding me in his arms, while tears continued to pour down my face. I tried to move but he was holding on tight.

"Philip, please," I begged trying to break free.

"You can't say these things to me, and not expect me to have this exact reaction," Philip said his arms wrapped even tighter around me now.

I begin to push him away, and attempt to move out of his arms. Still, I could not break free. Philip could see the frustration in my eyes, but he could also see the part of me that was still longing to be in his arms. The small part of me that still wanted his devotion.

"Philip," I beg trying to get out of his embrace_._

"You care about me. You love me," Philip whispered pulling his lips against to mine. I find myself kissing him back for about a minute. Then I slowly try to push him away again.

"Let go Philip," I said loudly when he wouldn't let go of my arms. He said nothing, but looked at me with those light brown eyes.

"Come here," A loud voice said pulling Philip of off me. I look up and Shane is the one that has grabbed Philip. _He has Philip on the ground punching him in the face. I watch as he punches him over and over. Philip is much smaller than Shane, but still gives him a good punch back. I see blood on Philip's hands. I want this to stop._

"You ever put your fucking hands on my wife again, I'll beat the shit out of you. You'll be dead! I promise you that Philip," Shane screams coming back at Philip.

"If your wife loved you then you wouldn't have to worry about me. Andrea, come with me. Leave with me," Philip pleads with me one last time.

"No," I said softly. He looks at me with pain in his eyes. Shane walks over to me his dark eyes concerned.

"Damn, Andrea I told you not go with him alone. I told you to stay in a public place," Shane said holding me close.

"I am all right, Shane," I reassure him.

"You have to be more careful. He could have really hurt you today," Shane said.

"Philip won't hurt me," I said pulling Shane closer.

"Did he get upset when you told him about the move? What caused him to hold you like that?"

"Philip is just jealous. He wants us to be together still," I said holding Shane close.

"I won't all that to happen. I don't want you meeting him alone again," Shane said.

"I'll going to have to deal with him once the baby is born," I said breathlessly.

"We're figure it out. I won't let that asshole hurt you," Shane promises. I say nothing, but hold him closer. _How was this going to end? Would we all be able to put aside our feelings for the baby? _


	42. Chapter 42

**53\. The plan**

"I can't stop thinking about you. I wanted to see if you were okay. I was worried about you," Andrea said when we alone. I can hear her words over and over. I kept replaying them in my head.

Andrea loved me. What the hell was she doing with Shane? It had been four months since I had really seen Andrea. We talked on the phone about the baby, but I didn't get a chance to see her again.

"We got to get back to work," Martinez said interrupting my thoughts in the break room.

"I am coming," I said following him.

"Did you fire Glen, yet?"

"No, I just gave him a verbal," I said smirking.

"Really? I don't know why you don't fire him. He such a smart ass," Martinez said.

"I was thinking we never hang outside of work," I said changing the subject.

"Because you are to busy crying about that blonde chick that dump your ass," he grins.

"Andrea," I corrected him.

"She dumped you for a cop, right?"

"It's a long story. But would you like to go to a concert with me?"

"Yeah sure," Martinez replied thinking nothing about it.

Poor Shane wouldn't know what hit him, I think laughing to myself. This was the first step into putting my plan into action. Andrea and that baby would be home with me soon.

Suddenly I hear my phone ringing. Unknown number, but I answer it anyways.

"Hello," I answer calmly.

"Philip?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"This is Shane. I hate calling you. But looks like Andrea is having the baby early. She wanted you to know."

"Thanks. I'll be right there," I said hanging up the phone.

"I have to go Martinez. I am having a baby," I said running to the door. I rush to be my Andrea's side.

**54\. Premature baby**

"Andrea is going to have a c-section. Only one person can be in the room," Shane said as saw me in the hospital.

"What are we going to do?"

"The baby is two months early. I am scared for her. Andrea wants you. I agree. You should be with her," Shane told me overwhelmed.

I nod in agreement, and then I am off to be by Andrea's side.

"Our baby isn't going to make it," Andrea says when I get in the room with her.

"No, don't say that. A baby with a mother as strong as you. That's going to be a tough baby," I reassured her. Andrea wraps her arms around me.

"You're tough too," Andrea smiles taking my hand. _All I can do is hold her hand the whole time while the doctor does everything she can. Finally, the baby is taken out, and we get to see it for a few seconds before they have to take her a way._

"It's a girl," the doctor tells us.

"I want to hold her," Andrea begs.

"They have to her to the NICU now. But she is going to be fine," I promise.

"I hope so. I love her," Andrea says barely keeping her eyes open.

**55\. Names**

_I walk in the room carrying flowers for Andrea. I see Shane setting beside her. He looks at me and I look at him. For the moment we have put aside our differences._

"I'll leave you two alone," Shane said leaving.

"Shane's taking me home tomorrow," Andrea said half smiling.

"I know you aren't upset because baby E is not going home with you. But the doctors say it won't be long," I promised.

"Emily is what we planned on naming her. Unless you hate it?"

"No, Emily is perfect," I said.

"Emily Blake, but she is going to need a middle name."

"Do you want me to pick one out?"

"I was think Penelope after her sister. Unless you don't think it's a good idea," Andrea said touching my arm.

"No, I love it. I love you," I said without thinking.

_Andrea says nothing in return. She has made it clear that she is going to stay married to Shane. But somehow I find it hard to believe she could just let our family go._

"I can't wait to take her home," Andrea said finally.

"You think her first night home could be at my house? I have the nursery set up for her," I whisper.

"I don't know. I mean I want to be with her too," Andrea says.

"Well, you could stay with me."

"I'll talk it over with Shane," Andrea replies.

"You could still change your mind. We could raise our daughter together," I whisper.

"Philip, please don't make things worst," Andrea pleads.

_I look into her deep blue eyes, and I wish for once I could let her go. I knew she loved Shane. I had seen the two of them together. Shane was good for her. And she was good for him. They brought out the best in each other._

_Shane would be a good father to Emily too. If I could do the right thing I let her go. Keep Andrea safe from me._

_But I was not a good guy. I could not let Andrea or Emily go. They were mine. And I could not go on wanting Andrea, but not being able to have. I was a man who got what he wanted. I am sorry Shane, I thought._

**56\. Peace**

_"I love you," Andrea said looking into my dark eyes._

"I love you. I am sorry that Emily won't be going home with us," I told Andrea.

"Next week will be here soon," Andrea smiled.

"Philip has been great. Maybe I misjudged him. Do you want to be with him? If I gave you a get out free pass would you take it?"

"Shane, do you want me to leave you?"

"No, I just see how you look at Philip and the baby. I know you love Philip," I whisper.

"I love him, but I am not in love with. He gave me Emily so of course they are feelings of love there. I want to stay with you. Please don't ask me again," Andrea said taking my hand.

"When I see you two looking at that baby. It messes with my head. I keep thinking he'll have this bond with you I'll never have," I admitted.

"We will have own babies," Andrea promises.

"I think Philip has come around. I think all three of will be able to raise Emily together. We'll finally have peace," I said smiling at Andrea.

"I am glad," Andrea says taking my hand.

"So you ready to get everything ready for when Emily comes home?"

"You know me so well," Andrea smiles up at me.


	43. Chapter 43

** 57\. Playing Nice**

_Pretending with Shane and Andrea wasn't easy. My emotions were all over the place. I still wanted Andrea back with me, knowing she loved Shane did not make it easier. If it was not for Shane, she would be with me. _

_If it wasn't for Emily I could let Andrea go. I knew I could. But every time I looked at that baby I saw Andrea, and now my daughter was finally going home. But not with me. With Shane and Andrea. _

"You understand why it would be weird for me to stay the night?"

"Yes, Shane. I understand," I said staying calm.

"You can come see her. Spend all day with Emily," she said.

"I know. I just wanted to be with her on first night out of the hospital," I said not trying to hide the displeasure in my tone.

"I understand that. And Shane understands that too. She is _your_ daughter. We're not going to keep you out of her life. Emily needs you. She needs all of us. We all have to keep getting along for her sake," Andrea whispered_. Emily was in her arms. She held her close to me so I could kiss her goodbye._

"Daddy loves you and I'll see you soon," I tell Emily. _At my own words, I feel my shoulders tense up. If I loved my daughter so much how could I just let Andrea take her away? _

I took a long breath. Watching Andrea and Shane leaving with my daughter was more than I could take. They looked like a happy family. _A happy family with my daughter. How long before they kicked me out of Emily's life? Sure, they were being nice now. Seeing them together I knew it was only a matter of time before they pushed me out of her life. I lost Penny. I would not lose this baby. _Shane was a nice enough of guy. Maybe in another we could have even been friends. But things being the way they were I only looked at Shane as an obstacle. _Someone who I have to get rid of to claim what was rightfully mine._

**58\. Family **

_I watched Andrea holding her daughter. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and her dark blue eyes were glowing. Motherhood looked good on her, I thought smiling._

_I stood there taking it all in. Andrea walking around the apartment with Emily. _

_I loved this little girl, and could not love her more if she was my own blood._

"I love you," Andrea said as she put Emily down in her crib.

"I love you. You're mine," I said kissing her forehead.

_Emily being born early I had sent everyone in a state of panic. I had been so scared that Emily or Andrea would die_. I had even told Andrea she could go back to Philip. _A moment of weakness._ I wasn't the type of guy who would give up fighting for the woman I loved. I was here for Emily and Andrea. I fight for them if I had too. No way in hell would I just let her go be with Philip, I thought. How those words ever came out of my mouth, would forever be a mystery.

Andrea looks down at Emily in the crib and back up at me again before taking a deep breath.

"Emily Penelope, is finally home," Andrea smiles.

"Why don't you go take a nap. I'll get you some dinner ready," I said timidly.

Andrea looks down at Emily who is sleeping, and smiles at me. Her hand is on my shoulder.

"That sounds perfect. I haven't been able to sleep in weeks," Andrea says walking toward the bedroom.

Looking down at this baby, I realize Andrea's and I relationship is changed forever. We are no longer just husband and wife. She is a mother and I am a stepfather. Our whole life is about this little girl now. Her wants and needs come first. The only problem was Philip.

I wish to God, he was not Emily's father. Sharing moments with someone else was not in my nature. Letting Philip be in the delivery room instead of me, was a horrible experience. One I did not want relive. I walk in the bedroom, and sleep Andrea sleeping. I better go to the grocery store, I thought.

In the car I pick my phone. I needed some advice, and there was only person I knew to call.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi Shane," Rick said simply.

"I need some advice about Philip," I whispered.

After what seemed like forever, Rick answered, "What's going on?"

"He won't stop pushing Andrea. He actually wanted Emily and Andrea to go home with him today," I said.

"Well, Emily was in the hospital for along time. As her father, I can see where he want to have some time with his daughter. I would feel the same way if it was Carl," Rick says logically.

"I know he is Emily's father, but I don't want to deal with him," I admitted.

"You knew going into this marriage, Andrea was having another man's baby. You will just have to make it work. Do what right for Emily," Rick said.

"Andrea and I plan on moving. Philip is not going to be in the picture," I admitted.

"Why now? After Emily has been so sick? That won't be fair for the father," Rick said harshly.

"We can't stay here. You think Andrea, Emily, Philip, and I are going to ride of in the sunset together? Philip is never going to stop trying to destroy my family. What would you if someone was trying to take Lori from you?"

"You need to stay close to the baby's father. For Emily. You know that's the right thing," Rick said.

"You're right, buddy," I said. Rick hangs up the phone, and I think how wrong he is. Philip was playing nice now, but I knew he could not be trusted. And even if he could I still wanted my family far away from him. Andrea was my wife, not his. I walk in the store, and grab the things I need quickly. I drive home quickly, and rush in to look at Andrea. Her blonde curls are falling in her face as she sleeps. I get on the floor beside the bed.

"I love you, Andrea," I whisper in her ear. Looking at Andrea, I know Rick is right. We should stay her for Emily. She deserved to know her father. But I was too selfish for that. I wanted Andrea and Emily for myself. _**I was not a man who made compromises, I thought.**_


	44. Chapter 47

**59\. War**

_Andrea looked like an angel staring at me. Would I ever stop wanting her? There was just something about her that made me want to hold her._

"Philip, I have something to tell you," Andrea said setting close to me while I was holding Emily.

"What?" I said putting the bottle in Emily's mouth. I smiled down her, as drink her bottle slowly.

"Shane and I are moving. We been talking it before when things were getting crazy," Andrea said putting her arm on my shoulder.

"You mean when I got carried away trying to stop you from marrying Shane?"

"Yeah. You were acting like a stalker and obsessive over me."

"I know. I am sorry Andrea. I have accepted your marriage to Shane now," I lied.

"You have been great, but Shane still thinks it's best if we move," Andrea said looking straight into my eyes.

"With Emily?"

"Well, I can not leave her behind. Every month she can come spend a week with you, and holidays. Plus time in the summer, and we will come up with a fair custody agreement," Andrea promised.

"Why don't you stay here? I have moved on. You know I started dating someone else. You liked Lilly."

"Shane and I both adore her. I think she'd be a good step mom to Emily, if you two end up getting married," Andrea said quietly.

"Well, I don't know if it will go that far," I said looking at the ground.

"I am glad you are moving on. Now there is peace between the three of us," Andrea whispered.

"Then why move?"

"Shane got a better paying job in California, and I am going to start teaching college there in the fall. That way I will have a better work schedule to spend more time with Emily. I never planned on living here forever," Andrea said looking at me.

"Well, you did not plan on having my baby either. But you did. You have to be fair to me. Moving that far is not right," I told Andrea.

"Please, Philip. We won't be moving for another six months".

I say nothing, but look at her closely. I had worked so hard to deceive her. I could not blow my cover now. Still, this sealed the deal. It was war between Shane and I. Any thoughts of letting him live were gone. Marrying Andrea was not enough of Shane. He had to take my daughter too.

**Part IIII**

**60\. Losing it**

_I remember the last time I saw Shane alive and well. His dark wavy hair falling in his face, and chocolate colored eyes dancing. Emily was spending the weekend with my parents, and Shane I were finally going be alone._

"Don't go to work tonight," I begged Shane.

"Andrea, you know I have to go. I wouldn't but we are going to need the extra money with the move," Shane said pulling me in for a kiss.

"I just have this bad feeling if you go I won't see you again," I pleaded.

"Don't be silly. I am badass no one can hurt me," Shane grins.

"Well, call me as soon as your shift is over. I have something imperative to tell you," I say wrapping my arms around him.

"If it's imperative tell me now," Shane said grabbing my ass. _We could never keep our hands off each other._

"I am pregnant."

"Another baby?"

"Yes," I grinned as he pressed his lips on mine.

"This one is mine," Shane whispers.

"You think it's a girl or boy baby?"

"This one a boy baby. Little Shane Jr." Shane said licking his lips.

"I would love to have your son. I love you," I said kissing his lips softly.

"Not as much as I love you," Shane says when he pulls away.

_After that he was gone to work. That was the last time I saw him before the shooting._

**61\. The perfect plan **

_I had the perfect plan. I wore gloves. I stole the murder weapon from Shane's partner. _

_Martinez and I were going Rob Zombie concert that night giving me an alibi. I made sure I followed Shane's night shift, and that his partner Nick was not working the night of the concert. _

I was able to leave the concert in intermission, change my clothes, and track Shane down. I had been following him for the last month unnoticed. I even timed the amount of time it would take me to get from place to place. I borrowed a friend's car so no one would recognize me while I was tracking Shane down. I parked the car a block away from where Shane is normally parked. I walk out there with guns on my hand. It's a Thursday night and noone is out. Just Shane and I.

He is alone standing outside his cop car with cell phone in hand. My eyes hound on him for a moment. My heart is racing. I am feeling certain amount of mental ecstasy. _This man who stole my family was about to be dead. I was going to kill him._

I pull the trigger before Shane even sees me. Or I don't think he sees me.

"I found you," I whispered as Shane fell to the ground bleeding through the chest. I walk close enough to see him bleeding. I reach into the pocket on my pants and pull out some of Nick's hand that I have in a ziplock bag.

The police would match the hair and gun bullet to Nick, I thought grinning. I take one last look at Shane who is bleeding to death. I see his body covered in blood, and my heart is pumping harder. You should left Andrea alone, I think heatedly. I look making sure there are no witnesses. I see no one. I casually walk away. I get to my car where I quickly change clothes even shoes. I put everything in a trash bag. _I find Martinez back at the concert, and he knows what is going on. He sees how pumped I am._

"We have to stay calm. We are going to drive to Lilly's house. You burn your clothes there," _Martinez tells me. I nodded feeling my the blood in my body flowing faster. Killing Shane gave me a feeling of power. We arrived at Lilly's house who is not that thrilled to see me._

"What you guys doing out so late?" Lilly asked when she opens the door.

"Concert," Martinez said calmly. _He is talking to her about who knows what while I go out to the backyard. I set my clothes on fire. _

The only thing left in the bag is the murder weapon. This last part of my plan is the trickiest. I had to make sure no one finds it or at least it can't be traced to me.

Martinez talks Lilly and her sister Tara into going for a drive.

We go to a local bar making sure a lot of people see me. I sneak out in Tara's car, and start think about where I can drop it off at. I drive into the next town wearing Nick's black hat and carrying police bag in hand. My plan is to drop the bag out into the trash with gun.

I am walking into a gas station when a stranger approaches me. He has a gun in his hand.

This asshole is going to rob me.

"Give me all your money," he yells. I can smell pot and alcohol on this guy, and I know he has no fucking clue where he is. I grin knowing my wallet is in the car. I have Nick's baseball cap is covering my face. I reach over handing him Nick's black police back and some cash. The robber takes the bag and money leaving in a hurry once he sees the word police. Just like that the murder weapon is gone. Not traceable to me. I drive Tara's car back to the bar. I find Lilly who looks beyond pissed.

"Where have you been? Tara is ready to leave. Your friend won't stop flirting with her," Lilly replies harshly.

"I was sick. Too many beers," I said calmly taking her hand.

"You always drink too much," Lilly says rolling her eyes. Martinez drives us back to her house. We stay all night there, and all continue to keep drinking. Even Lilly who was bitching about my drinking joins us. I fuck Lilly and then I go to sleep. For the moment I feel as if I have lost all my humanity. _I have become a monster, but there is no going back now. _

**62\. Something's wrong**

_I called Shane over and over. No one answered. He always called me around this time. I tried calling his partner Nick. No answer there. Finally, I decided to go look for Shane myself. I drive to where he normally parks for his night shift. It's a road in the middle of nowhere that drunk drivers often take trying to avoid cops. Sure enough I find Shane laying in a puddle of blood. His cell phone laying beside him. I feel his heart and see is still breathing. I dial 911, and go over there to wait with him. Shane slowly opens his eyes._

"Andrea," Shane says running his fingers through my hair.

"Baby, you're going to be okay."

"I don't think I am going to make it," Shane whispers.

"You will. We are going to move to California, and start our new life just liked we plan. And this new baby is going to know their daddy. Wait and see," I said touching his beautiful face.

"I am so glad I got to look into your eyes one last time. I love you," Shane said moving his head into my arms. I run my fingers through his dark hair.

"I love you. But this is not goodbye. You're strong. You will be all right," I tell Shane holding on tight.

"I did not see who shot me. I love you. I love Emily and our new baby. I've always love you," Shane replies closing his eyes again._ The ambulance finally get there, and they take him away. Is he breathing still? Or did in my arms? I pray to God that somehow he will survive. _


	45. Chapter 45

**63\. He's gone**

_I am at the hospital waiting for new of how Shane is doing. I feel like I have waited forever. It's only been a few hours. I have called my mom and they are going to bring Emily home early. I look at my cell phone, I think about calling Philip to wait with me. I don't. Because part of me thinks he is responsible. Finally, the doctor walks in._

"Andrea, we have done everything we can. He did not make it," He says calmly.

"No, it is not true. Shane is fine," I said screaming.

He could not be gone. _Not Shane. Not my true love. We supposed to start our new life together._

The doctor looks at me shocked, and walks off. I am losing it when, my friend Daryl walks in.

"Andrea, I came as soon as I heard. Everyone from our group will be here soon," Daryl said holding me in his arms.

"No point. He is gone. Someone killed him," I said burying my face in his chest.

"You think it was Philip? I know Shane said Philip threaten his life several times in the past."

"I don't know. He was upset about our move, but surely he didn't," I said taking a deep breath.

"You want me to take you home?"

"No, I can't go back there now," I said touching my tummy.

"You can stay with Beth and I tonight," Daryl said cradling me in his arms.

"Okay. I am going to find the asshole who did this and kill him," I whisper as Daryl helps me to his car. He says nothing, but looks at me forlornly.

**64\. NEVER**

_Things were not going as I planned. Killing Shane did not actually send Andrea running into my arms like I thought. She was actually angry when she first saw me._

"You did this, "Andrea said when I came to pick Emily up for my visit.

"Andrea, you know I have been cleared by the police. They are arresting his partner Nick. Shane knew he was selling drugs. Shane was going to report him. That's why Nick killed him," I said trying to calm her down. **The second part of the story was true. Of course I was the one who actually killed Shane.**

"Well, you wanted him dead. All the terrible things you said about him. I wish I could have all the time back I had with you. It was wasted time. I should have been with Shane. I never loved you," Andrea screamed.

_I take her in my arms trying to calm her down, but she starts to hit me in the face. She is literally pushing me across the hall. God, she is tough and pissed._

"Andrea, please," I beg as she moves away from me.

"Philip, what am I supposed to do now? Shane has been dead for two months now, but it's like he is still here. He won't stop haunting me. We had this whole life planned out together. He was not supposed to die. He was twenty-six years old. Nothing wrong with him. He was perfect," Andrea says throwing herself on the floor.

I walk near to Andrea, but she won't let me near her.

"You need to eat something. Get some sleep. Shane wouldn't want you to be this like," I said calmly.

"What do you know about what Shane would want? He should not have went to work that night. I told him something was going to happen, and now he is dead. And it's my fault," Andrea said crying as she lays on the floor.

"No it's not. Look, I want to help you."

"Can you bring Shane back?"

"No."

"Well, that's all I want."

I pick up Emily, and walk near Andrea. Her face is bright red, and her clothes are ripped.

"You still have your daughter to think about," I tell her holding Emily where she could see her.

"Our daughter. And I want you to take care of her for a while. She'll better off with you and Lilly now," Andrea says getting me a bag.

"You packed her stuff?"

" Yeah. There's baby food, clothes, and diapers. Everything she needs," Andrea said handing me the bag.

_She looks at me blankly, and realize without Shane I might well have killed her too. Even with Shane dead, I can not have her. And if I can't have her no one can, I thought harshly._

**64\. Weak**

**I gave Andrea a few days alone before I came back to check on her . What was I going to do with her? But really how did I expect her to react? I mean I had fantasy that if Shane was gone we would just instantly be a family, but deep down I knew it would not happen that way. **

"Andrea," I whispered as I walked in the door. I could not believe it was unlocked.

There Andrea was in wearing one of Shane's tee-shirt holding up his gun. What was she doing with that gun? It didn't take long for me to figure it out. _Andrea was going to kill herself._

"You here to stop me?" Andrea asks glaring at me.

"Don't do it," I said attempting to take the gun.

"Why shouldn't I? Shane's gone. This baby has no father now," Andrea said breathing heavy.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes. I just told Shane the day he died about the baby. He was so pleased. And I can't do this alone. Not without Shane," Andrea said holding the gun.

"If you kill yourself the last part you have of Shane will die too. You don't want to hurt that baby. And you don't want to leave Emily without a mother," I reason with her.

"Well, what am I going to do now? I can't stay here."

"Come home with me," I said gently.

"I'll never love you. My heart belongs to Shane. I'll never love anyone else," Andrea said pointing the gun closer to her head.

"Please you can get through this," I said reaching out for her hand. She looks into my eyes, and drops the gun.

"_I can't," She cries falling into my arms suddenly._

"You will be okay. I'll take care of you," I said touching her blonde hair and rubbing her back slowly.

"You are right Philip. I can't kill myself because of the baby. Shane's baby," Andrea said falling into my embrace. She not pushing me off or fighting me this time.

"Shane gave you a reason to live."

"Yes. And you did too. I can't leave Emily alone either. I am sorry for the screaming," Andrea says calming down.

"You're hurting. You can scream and yell all you want around me. I know what it's like to lose your spouse. To have the doctor tell you they did everything they could."

"Thank you. I know I look crazy. Were you serious when you said I could come to your house? I really need to get out for a few days," Andrea said rubbing her face. _She is too weak, and needs me. She had not been this vulnerable since our first meeting at the bar. This was how I like Andrea. Helpless and easy to control._

"Of course. Let's go something for you to eat," I said taking her hand.

"You don't have to be so nice to me. I was not always kind to you," Andrea replies giving me her hand.

"I want too. You need someone now," I said calmly.

"If you hadn't gotten here when you did. You saved my life," Andrea says looking into my eyes.

_I say nothing, but stare into her dark blue eyes. She is barely walking on her own. She is so fucking weak and that turns me on._

Andrea slowly gets in the car with me, and I know now she is mine again. Her head is resting on my shoulder. I would not have to wait long before I get her in bed again, I think to myself pleased. You won Philip. You are no longer a failure. You did not win fair, but you still won. _No one would ever take what is mine again, I thought looking over at Andrea._

**AN: That's the end. I hope you found it creepy and dark. Note this the only time Philip has beaten Shane. In Wildfire and Bound to happen Shane wins. The reason is because I believe Shane would beat the Governor with no problem! Anyways hope you loved it! I'll be working on more Shane/Andrea/Governor stories soon!**


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